Dating for intellectual girls

Jennifer in Santa Barbara, California, writes, “I am having really bad luck with guys.  I am reasonably attractive, but I do not get dates.  Do you think it is because I am intellectual and highly educated?”

According to many statistics, even today men do not look for intelligence and education in a woman.  They look for someone who is attractive (it does not mean beautiful) and fun to be around.  This does not mean that intelligence and education turn them off, but arrogance and “I know it all” attitudes do.  Men like to feel needed and if they do not feel as if you need them, they tend to be afraid.

This does not mean that all men are the same.  For some men education and intelligence are very important.  You have to look at your personality and ask yourself if you might be unknowingly putting men down.  Are you aggressive consciously or unconsciously? Are you shy? Are you taking care of yourself? Are you making an effort to meet people?

We do not think education and intelligence are the problem.  Take a look at yourself and evaluate your behavior.  In many cases, it is a numbers game.  If you are not meeting enough new people you have less possibility of getting a date.  It is a different story if they ask you out and never ask for a second date.  In the latter case, you have to look at the type of men you are dating and your attitude.

Let men feel needed and admired.  Try to find the things that attracted you to this person and tell him how much you like “His sense of humor,” “You have great abs,”, “You are so interesting,” etc.  Make them feel good about themselves.  Don’t you think that if you are dating them it is because you found something good in them?

Keep the conversation interesting.  Let them talk but do not dominate the conversation.  Listen and ask questions, tell jokes, and make them laugh.  Think of what makes you feel good and give some of this to the guys you date.

Learn to flirt with style; it is never too late.  If you are not meeting enough people or the type of people you want to meet, put your mouse to work for you.  Yes, the one in the computer.  We are talking about online dating which works for women.  It is easy to meet people online and you can use the online dating services.  You can also join an online gaming community or a chat room related to areas of your interest.  We live in an exciting era and there are lots of ways to meet people.