Friendship with ex-wife: Good idea!

Mark writes, "I've been divorced for two years. My ex-wife and I are still friends and although we don't talk all the time, maybe twice a month at the most, my new and potentially serious girlfriend has a huge issue with it. She has met her and knows that there is no way that we would ever re-connect. My ex and I have made it a point to remain friends after all that we've been through and yet it makes my present girlfriend extremely uncomfortable and jealous. Is this a case of jealousy that will never go away? What do I do? I really care for both and on some level I don't want to break either relationship off. Any suggestions?"

1. Americans better get used to the new reality. With 50% divorce rates, we already have situations where it is hard to keep track of all the complex marital situations and who is father/mother of what child. So the bottomline is that couples will continue to be divorced and divorces will become increasingly less bitter. That means that couples will stay friends, rather than turn into bitter enemies. So if you are going to date a divorcee, you better get used to seeing the exes once in a while and your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband maintaining a mature friendship with the ex.
2. We at LuvCube.com believe that even after marriage, each partner should be allowed to have good friends of both sexes. The spouse does not have to be friends with all of these folks. It is actually good for both partners and for the relationship. In fact, our research has found that when a partner has a close friend of the opposite sex with whom s/he can share almost anything, the relationship with the spouse improves. There are things that you can never talk to your spouse about without getting personal about it. With a friend, it is much easier to discuss such things and get objective feedback/suggestions/ guidance. For example, if I tell my wife that she is starting to get fat and is no longer as pretty as she used to be, we will probably have a divorce. However, I can, and do, tell a friend and she will actually appreciate it.
3. If this woman is so jealous now, things will only get worse when you marry her. She will feel more right over you and would not want you to be seen with any other woman at all. Not a good situation to be in.
4. It seems that you have a good friendly relationship with your ex-wife. And that is the way it should be. After all, for God's sake, she was your wife at one time and you loved her. You have every right to be friends with her and as long as you give all your love to the next woman, she has no business to tell you who you are friends with. (Related: Should I go back to my ex?)
   
5. My advice: You might want to tell your girlfriend what your thoughts are, lay out all the facts, and hold your position. If she wants to leave, let her go. You will surely find someone who is a bit more open-minded than this.
   

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Emotions after divorce

Impact of divorce on families