Physical intimacy problems: Please give your suggestions to this couple

Jill in Philadelphia, PA, writes, "I am twenty and my boyfriend is twenty-four. We are not married yet. We are planning it for next year. I am in great shape and doesn't find it fun anymore. We talked about it and he said that I am boring now. He does not want the same thing done all the time but I really don't know what else to do. We bought things to make it fun but still it isn't working. I thought that if I did roleplaying that it might work but I was wrong. We used to be able to go for hours and now I'm lucky if it's for twenty minutes. Is this my fault and if so what can I do to make it better? What could I do to make it more fun and exciting? Please help me."

I think it is a bit more complex than most other cases that we deal with. Typically we advise our clients to buy some lingerie, create romantic situations, do a little bit here and a little bit there, and it all works out great. Here are a few things about your case that sound difficult:

1. You both are very young and at this stage guys think about nothing else but intimacy. Yes, we all eventually make physical intimacy a part of our lives and the frequency goes down as we age and stay with the same partner, but this is the age when couples literally do it three times a day, seven days a week. And all they think of is when and where next.
2. In many cases we find that when one partner is not taking the initiative and simply makes no effort, things can go downhill, but again that is not the case with you.
3. I am very concerned when he calls you "boring". That doesn't sound right. In fact that should make you think twice about getting married to this guy. You are only 20 and if he is already bored with you, what's going to happen when you are 45?
4. If seduction is the only problem, I can work with you to fix it and make you a seductive goddess; but I am sincerely hoping that that is the only issue here. If not, you need to think hard if seduction does not work.

So this is what we suggest:

1. While I believe you that there is no one else, you need to keep your eyes and ears open and watch out for what is going on.
2. Are you guys drifting apart for some other reason? Have you had fights? Is he trying to throw you out of his life so that you will then leave and he will be glad to see you go. You need to have this conversation with him and find out if there is something that has led to lack of desire on his part for you. You might also want to read this article on communication among couples.
3. Is there a medical situation with him? Depression or something physical? You might want him to consult a doctor for an opinion.

Readers are welcome to give their suggestions by contacting LuvCube team.