Role play for better marriage
From time to time we ask our readers to contribute stories of their romantic life, particularly after marriage. Out of several submissions we received, we have chosen one by Sherie who is 52 years old and has been married to the same man for 29 years. While her marriage did not have any problems as such, she realized that it had become stale. At the young age of 52, she did not want them to just live a boring life and wait for retirement. Below is her story. If you would like to contribute your story, please contact us.
"I was not like that just a year ago. In fact I had wrapped myself in a cocoon many years ago. A lifetime really! I never let anyone in too close. 29 years is a long time to be married to the same person. And despite having a great relationship with him, there was a part of me that lived independent of him. For a long time, I just thought of this "other me" as a friend. At other times, I even wondered if I were two persons really.
I have always been very quiet, independent, and private. I realized that God willing, I'm only halfway through my life, and I don't want to spend the rest of it this way. So I decided that I had to work very hard at pushing my boundaries. I have always had a hard time looking at myself. So, I bought a digital camera and started taking pictures of myself. I put them on the computer and spent hours editing them. Distorting, painting, and changing them. I got kind of lost in it, not conscious any longer that it was MY body. I began to get more comfortable with it. Exploring it, learning every inch of it, accepting it, and even learning to love it. I don't distort and heavily color or use a lot of special effects anymore. I actually don't undress in the closet anymore! I redesigned my bathroom and insisted on a bidet [now that I know what they are REALLY all about]. There are pictures of me now all over my bedroom and he sees them all the time.
How many times have I surprised him with my crazy ideas? Once you are in your 50s, you don't do certain things. But nothing was going to stop me. I stuffed my soiled underwear in his coat pockets. I sent him photos of mine by email while he was traveling. I even showed up outside his office after work so that he could take me out to a bar on a "date". We would pretend to be just two strangers in a bar and that would give both of us a chance to tease each others as other men either looked at us or tried to hit on me.
I still felt though that I wanted to bring something else to our married life. Something more exciting than getting up everyday, going through the routine, and just waiting for retirement to arrive. I wanted to experience things that I had never done before and I wanted to enjoy physical intimacy more than ever before. It was at this point that Andy, my good friend, convinced me to role-play with my husband. He thought that my experiences will be useful not only in helping me explore my limits but would also give other women an opportunity to try it if I could publish my experiences. I wanted to keep it simple and he was fine with that. I was a bit apprehensive about approaching my husband with the idea. While there were occasions that we had done wild things, even in public places, he still thought of me as the quiet, shy type. It is interesting that even after 29 years of marriage, a man can be so clueless about his wife.
Surprisingly enough, he agreed. I think he was curious more than anything else, and secondly, he likes to see me happy.
I imagined that there are a lot of women, who have never done this before either, so I was thinking that perhaps I should start with some scenarios that were very simple. The characters and the props, easy to gather and easy to relate to. Very uncomplicated at first and then go from there. I mean, I had no idea where to go with the tennis player role-play, for example, but I could easily be a teenage babysitter being driven home by the "father". Or dress a little provocative and let my husband pick me up in a bar and take me to a hotel room [or at least another bedroom in the house]. I could imagine pretending that my husband was a student in my drawing class at school, who I get to come and model privately for me while I sketch him and reposition him, and even "fluff" him a bit! I could let my husband be a photographer and take shots of me. A female college student, desperate to pass a class. The possibilities were endless. Nurse, high class escort, flight attendant, cop, doctor, harem girl. Wanted to start off simple though, where the dialogue was not intimidating. I wanted to bring my experiences to ALL women, not just the ones who are already really good at flirting and small talk?
I had set it up, that it was time to give the sitter a ride home. He was laughing and seemed up for it. We got in the car. I had a short top on. I told him I was due home in an hour. Really wanted a smoke. Would he stop somewhere along the way? He picked a spot. I ran my fingers up his arm and biceps and asked him if he had been working out. When he smiled and didn't flinch, I continued and ran my hand over his chest and then up his thigh. He was asking me questions like he was getting into it. How old was I? Did I date a lot of guys, etc? I thought things were going really well. We did it then and there and it was like high school days all over again. It was nothing like what we had done in years.
My advice to women: use your imagination to do something about your marriage. Just buy a costume, create a scene, and you can transport yourself into a new world where you can both can be two different people. "
Related articles: How to seduce and please your man?
Thongs to please a man
Bellydancing to please husband
"I was not like that just a year ago. In fact I had wrapped myself in a cocoon many years ago. A lifetime really! I never let anyone in too close. 29 years is a long time to be married to the same person. And despite having a great relationship with him, there was a part of me that lived independent of him. For a long time, I just thought of this "other me" as a friend. At other times, I even wondered if I were two persons really.
I have always been very quiet, independent, and private. I realized that God willing, I'm only halfway through my life, and I don't want to spend the rest of it this way. So I decided that I had to work very hard at pushing my boundaries. I have always had a hard time looking at myself. So, I bought a digital camera and started taking pictures of myself. I put them on the computer and spent hours editing them. Distorting, painting, and changing them. I got kind of lost in it, not conscious any longer that it was MY body. I began to get more comfortable with it. Exploring it, learning every inch of it, accepting it, and even learning to love it. I don't distort and heavily color or use a lot of special effects anymore. I actually don't undress in the closet anymore! I redesigned my bathroom and insisted on a bidet [now that I know what they are REALLY all about]. There are pictures of me now all over my bedroom and he sees them all the time.
How many times have I surprised him with my crazy ideas? Once you are in your 50s, you don't do certain things. But nothing was going to stop me. I stuffed my soiled underwear in his coat pockets. I sent him photos of mine by email while he was traveling. I even showed up outside his office after work so that he could take me out to a bar on a "date". We would pretend to be just two strangers in a bar and that would give both of us a chance to tease each others as other men either looked at us or tried to hit on me.
I still felt though that I wanted to bring something else to our married life. Something more exciting than getting up everyday, going through the routine, and just waiting for retirement to arrive. I wanted to experience things that I had never done before and I wanted to enjoy physical intimacy more than ever before. It was at this point that Andy, my good friend, convinced me to role-play with my husband. He thought that my experiences will be useful not only in helping me explore my limits but would also give other women an opportunity to try it if I could publish my experiences. I wanted to keep it simple and he was fine with that. I was a bit apprehensive about approaching my husband with the idea. While there were occasions that we had done wild things, even in public places, he still thought of me as the quiet, shy type. It is interesting that even after 29 years of marriage, a man can be so clueless about his wife.
Surprisingly enough, he agreed. I think he was curious more than anything else, and secondly, he likes to see me happy.
I imagined that there are a lot of women, who have never done this before either, so I was thinking that perhaps I should start with some scenarios that were very simple. The characters and the props, easy to gather and easy to relate to. Very uncomplicated at first and then go from there. I mean, I had no idea where to go with the tennis player role-play, for example, but I could easily be a teenage babysitter being driven home by the "father". Or dress a little provocative and let my husband pick me up in a bar and take me to a hotel room [or at least another bedroom in the house]. I could imagine pretending that my husband was a student in my drawing class at school, who I get to come and model privately for me while I sketch him and reposition him, and even "fluff" him a bit! I could let my husband be a photographer and take shots of me. A female college student, desperate to pass a class. The possibilities were endless. Nurse, high class escort, flight attendant, cop, doctor, harem girl. Wanted to start off simple though, where the dialogue was not intimidating. I wanted to bring my experiences to ALL women, not just the ones who are already really good at flirting and small talk?
I had set it up, that it was time to give the sitter a ride home. He was laughing and seemed up for it. We got in the car. I had a short top on. I told him I was due home in an hour. Really wanted a smoke. Would he stop somewhere along the way? He picked a spot. I ran my fingers up his arm and biceps and asked him if he had been working out. When he smiled and didn't flinch, I continued and ran my hand over his chest and then up his thigh. He was asking me questions like he was getting into it. How old was I? Did I date a lot of guys, etc? I thought things were going really well. We did it then and there and it was like high school days all over again. It was nothing like what we had done in years.
My advice to women: use your imagination to do something about your marriage. Just buy a costume, create a scene, and you can transport yourself into a new world where you can both can be two different people. "
Related articles: How to seduce and please your man?
Thongs to please a man
Bellydancing to please husband
posted by eCreativa Media | 1:08 PM
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