Dating tips for women

Lisa in Brookfield, Connecticut writes, "I do not get dates. I am average looking; perhaps a little bit chubby, but I think that I am in my desired weight range. I am 25 years old and I have had only one boyfriend in high school. I do not understand why nobody asks me out. All my girlfriends have frequent dates. What is wrong with me?"

Lisa is not alone. And we think that her predicament has nothing to do with her appearance. We say this because unless you are from another planet, this usually is not the case (though we can bet that some enterprising people will actually want to date aliens as well). Here is a short list of the most common reasons some people do not get dates:

• They do not meet enough people. If you do not meet many people you have less possibilities of finding a good match. This has to be an enjoyable experience of meeting friends, not only potential mates. There also has to be a deliberate effort to be with people. And this does not mean you have to move to a bar or spend your day on the Internet, though we strongly recommend that you try online dating (Related article: Does online dating work?) since it is one of the most efficient ways to connect with a lot of people. There are many other ways to meet new people. Look for groups or activities in an area you have interest in (e.g. pottery, volunteer activities, etc.) and join them. This usually requires time, effort and some money. If you are not willing to do the work, you may be missing out on having a more fulfilling life.
• Personal insecurity is another factor. This is a complex topic to be explored in this article extensively but there are a lot of websites/books and resources to get to know yourself and gain self-confidence. If you deal with internal problems now, you will have a lot more time later to enjoy life. This does not mean that something is wrong with you. We all need to work in some areas of our lives. (Related article: Self esteem issues among women)
• This relates to the previous point: perhaps you have the wrong attitude and you are pulling people away from you. This has to do with the way people perceive you. If you have an arrogant attitude, are too aggressive, not feminine, too bossy or any other qualities we dislike in people, you may be scaring away some potential boyfriends. (Related article: How to develop a positive attitude?)
• Appearance. Check how you take care of yourself. Would you feel better if you looked prettier? If this is the case, be specific what you do not like about yourself? Your hair, your makeup, your skin, your style, etc.? Make a list and research how you can make those changes (plastic surgery, makeovers, style changes, etc.). There are so many resources to look better right now and the information is free on most websites (of course, we invite you to visit our sister websites MYNIPPON and Lindisima).
• One last piece of advice: enjoy life and do activities to meet people, but do not go through life thinking only of finding a husband or thinking that your husband will make you totally happy and all problems will be over. If you are not happy with yourself, it will be more difficult to be happy in a relationship.

Recommended article: How to get the red-carpet look?