After breakup - Move out and start new life; how to

So very often you not only end up in a relationship that is not going anywhere, you do not even know how to get out of it. So all those singles out there - I know you are desperately hoping to get into a relationship - any relationship, but remember that it easy to get into a relationship and more difficult to get out of it. The key is that when you do get into a relationship, think hard about all aspects of the relationship so that, one, you never have to get out of it, hopefully, and two, if you do need to get out of it, this is the person that will let you move on gracefully.

Let us hear about Janet's story. She lives together with her boyfriend but her relationship is not going anywhere. She doesn't even share the bedroom with her any more. In other words, the relationship is effectively over. "But I need tips on how to move out of the house. We do not even talk to each other any more. I need to get out of this mess as fast as I can. But how do I do this?" asks Janet.

Janet's problem is not unique. In fact she has done better than other woman who just stay in the relationship because they do not even realize that they are in a dead-end relationship or even if they do, they just do not have the courage to get out. Many wonder that other men would not like them or they are too old or have nowhere to go. A few simply don't want to face the reality of telling a man that he was not worth it and it is time for her to move on. So the time has come for Janet to show that she has the self-esteem and pride to move on and start a new life.

How to end a relationship and move out if you live together?

• Keep your cool. Ending a relationship does not mean fights, shouts, and bad feelings. What you want to accomplish is to get out with a smile on your face and you have nothing to gain by making life difficult for the other person. In case like Janet's, it is actually going to be easier. He might actually be happy to see her go since it is so uncomfortable being with an ex-girlfriend like that.
• Announce your departure in a calm, polite, and friendly way. If there are bills to be paid or any other formalities to be taken care of, try to do that before leaving. For those items that can not be settled at that time, agree on the next steps. For example, how you will receive a copy of the bill, how will you pay, etc. You might even agree to a phone call or a quick meeting if needed (e.g. to sign a document). In other words, do what you are expected to do.
• Take all your belongings with you as soon as you can and everything that you want to take. Hire help, if needed. Don't leave stuff behind. It just sends the wrong message that you might want to come back.
• Be friendly and courteous when you leave. If you run into your ex at a party or anywhere else you should still be able to exchange smiles/greetings and move on.

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