Dealing with an ex; advice for women

By Imfwama Wotela

When women have to make a choice about taking their Ex back, they often have a difficult time separating emotions from reason. Since it is never a good idea to take a risk twice, it is best if you think clearly this time what is the best course of action. (Related article: Should you take your Ex back?)

It’s important that you realize that life must go on and there are certain things that you do not want to go back to. Reason being that it may weigh you down and take you backward, and even worse, history repeating itself, particularly if you ended the relationship because it was abusive. I don’t think you want to walk that road again. It’s true we all deserve a second chance but be careful how you apply this very vital principle into your life. (Related article: What is the purpose of life?)

It’s always important that you know the reasons why you are making certain choices. Always ask yourself questions as they help lead to answers that help you to make better decisions. Also always tell yourself that you deserve the best out of life and that it’s always good to have new experiences. If you had given this same man 10 years of your life and he messed them up, what guarantee do you have that if you gave him another 15 years of your productive life, that he will not do the same (Go back to ex). Yes, there are chances that love can work out a second time with the same person and these thoughts are not to discourage you or to make you have a vengeful spirit, but it is to help you to think more carefully and not fall into the same pitfall.

Here are a few questions that you should ask so that you can come up with an answer to your dilemma:

• Have I failed to find somebody else who can appreciate me?
• Do I still love him?
• Am I ready for him now?
• Have we sorted out our differences now?
• Can we now agree on the future?
• How sure am I that it is love and not pity?
• Have I really forgiven him?
• Is this the person I want to spend the rest of my life with?
• Is it because the kids miss their dad? Is it for mine or the kid’s sake?
• Am I able to put the past behind us and start again with him or without him?

A person’s life is very precious and always remember that the part you will give and also the time you give will never get it back if you give it out to the wrong person. It is just the same when you give or lend out anything it will never come back the same because people will not always handle your things the way you do because we are all different and do things differently. What may be precious to you might not be so for the next person. (Related article: Do you know the true purpose of your life?)

It took you a while for you to repair your life, to heal and move on without him. Are you prepared to undo all the hard work for the sake of one person who almost destroyed you at one time? You really need to think deeply about this. You only have one life and you can’t risk it all. Neither can you use the last part of it for experiments anymore. You now need to live it to the full because now you are wiser and have learnt from your mistakes and it’s a time for better things. After considering the above you can now answer the question: do I take him back or not? The only one to answer this is you.

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