While being in a relationship means that the partners should be ready to make some sacrifices necessary for love, it does not mean that one should sacrifice everything. Those days are long gone. In our society with 50% divorce rates, marriage is merely one step in our lives. In other words, at all points we should be independent. If we find a great relationship, fine; otherwise, we should not be dependent on a man or a woman to help us go along.
This point is very well illustrated by Jennifer's example who wants to pursue college education but her boyfriend would rather have her next to him. She says, "For the last month or so I have been debating about going back to college. Now Hugh told me the other day that if I didn't attend college in his area, he would breakup with me. I have been with him for almost 2 years and most of the time he is supportive. I've been trying to work out a schedule so that I could go to college where I live, work nearby, and be able to see him. So far he hasn't been happy with anything and when I become upset, he hangs up the phone or just ignores me. It's getting to the point that I don't know what to do. I love him more than anything in this world, but I don't know if I should stay with him any longer. Please help. I don't have the strength any longer to figure this out." (Related article: How to breakup without hurting your partner?)
The answer is very simple. If I loved you, the first thing on my mind would be to do whatever I can so that you can go ahead in life. True love stays that way whether you are 5 miles or 500 miles away. A true lover would help you in any way he can so that you can achieve your dreams, particularly when you are still young and have a noble dream like going to college.
This gentleman is simply being selfish and mean. Either he does not appreciate the value of college education or he does not want you to get a good education. In either case, it is a good time for you to think if you want to be with a man who does not value higher education and does not want you to pursue your dreams. (Related article: Tips on breaking up)
It is pretty obvious where your and his priorities are and they are definitely not aligned. Generally this is a good sign that the relationship may not work out long term. I would strongly suggest that you go to a school that will help you go ahead in life and forget about him. Even if the school is 500 miles away but gives you the education that you need, go there. Once you get a good education, find a great job, and go ahead in life, guys will be all over you.
Related article: Finding happiness after breakup
- By Pierre Coda