How to develop positive body image?

A positive body image is an absolute must no matter how you look. There are no absolute standards of beauty and unless you believe that you look just fine for yourself, there is nothing to worry. I know people who love Jennifer Lopez and others who hate her. There are others who think that Britney Spears is hot, while others find her trashy. And the list goes on.

So if you do not have a positive body image, it will reflect on your personality, and you might face difficulties in your private and public lives. That is exactly what is happening to Lynn who has been married for three years to a wonderful man who adores her. While he loves to look at her body, she is even hesitant to show her body in her underwear. "I am still very shy when it comes to making love. I am more shy about my own body than anything. I simply do not like it when my husband wants to see me without clothes, which is often, I must confess. I am just not comfortable with the way I look. I am not very open or expressive in bed. Again I am just too shy. I wish I could get over this so that my husband would have a more adventurous lover, and as well as for myself. What can I do?"

What you are going through is happening because of lack of what is known as "positive body image." Some women, no matter how others perceive them (and how good looking they really are), tend to think of themselves as not pretty enough. They often compare themselves to models and celebrities and this only makes things worse for them. They just want to be "perfect" but they do not know of anyone who is perfect. They also do not believe when people genuinely like them because they do not believe it themselves.

Here is a little secret. While most men may like to look at pretty women around, but generally they are very realistic. Insofar as their partner is concerned, most good men look at the whole package rather than just physical assets of a woman. And in your case, the fact that your husband adores your body, says it all. He likes the way you look and he is demonstrating that by telling you that he wants to look at your body more often.

So what can you do?

1. You are actually a shy person and there are many programs available to deal with shyness. So choose a program that works for you. Almost all of them will give you ideas on how to open up to other people and how to feel good about yourself.
2. Work on your body image. Some of the things are rather simple, for example, try to reinforce a positive message every time you look at yourself in the mirror or in the shower.
3. Wear slightly revealing clothes to the mall one of these days and see the heads turning. That will make you feel great about your body.
4. Let us say that there is something that you do not like about your body. Say a few extra pounds in the wrong place. The trick is to hide the not-so-pretty parts and reveal the best parts by picking the right outfit (when you are in public) and the right lingerie (when you are with your husband). That way you can be sure that others/he are/is not looking at the parts that make you less comfortable about your body.
5. Finally, talk to him and he will understand. Tell him what you have told him and ask him to help you improve things rather than pushing you or giving up on you. Little by little you can make progress.

So if you do one small thing each day, you will make enormous progress in just a few weeks. You need to overcome your shyness not just in front of him but in front of the world at large. You also need to feel good about your body. The rest is easy. You already have a strong desire to make it happen, all you need to do is to take action.

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