How to meet a date in a chat room?

If you have ever been to a chat room, you probably did not what to do, you may have been bombarded with instant/private messages from "bots," came across acronyms that made no sense to you, and just realized that no one was actually chatting anything meaningful. Indeed, this is what happens in vast majority of chat rooms on the Internet. However, let me share with you some of the secrets of actually meeting nice people in chat rooms. And you can do it for free without spending anything on Internet dating. (Related article: Online matchmaking)

A few things to know about chat rooms

1. Even in a room focused on relationships, not everyone is looking for a relationship. There are all kinds of people that will be hanging out for their own reasons.
2. Not everyone will be in the same geographic region. So for instance, in a Miami chat room, do not be surprised to see women from The Philippines and Latinos.
3. Like anything else in finding a relationship, finding dates or online friends is about patience and strategy. So make sure that you do not give up before things start to happen.

How to use chat rooms to find a relationship?

1. Get a separate email ID (preferably one that does not disclose your real name but also is not offensive in any way). So instead of John Doe, get an ID like johnD1234. Complete your profile with accurate information and include a good picture of yourself. However, for privacy reasons, it is OK to say Miami area, rather than give out your town or street address. And never disclose your employer.
2. Pick a chat room carefully depending on what is important to you. If you like men who are interested in baseball, it is much better to visit sports chat rooms, preferably in your area.
3. When you visit a chat room, spend a few minutes observing what is going on. Also always observe the rules of the chat room. For instance, if private messages are not allowed, do not send those.
4. In any chat room there are always some people that make a lot of "noise" - ignore them. Others may be quietly watching what is going on (or waiting, like you, for someone interesting to arrive). These are the people you might want to approach. Sometimes you can check out their profile, so do it. Learn more about them. This is a great way to get an idea about gender, marital status, age, location, hobbies, etc. so that you can see if there is anything that attracts you. Send a private message that may say "Hello from Mary, 31, recently divorced in Miami area. Would you like to chat please?" By doing so you have been polite - that is key to meeting quality people. If you get a response, carry on the conversation; otherwise, move on. If you get a message (which in most cases will be something like ASL and that means age/sex/location), it is best to ignore them since these people do not know how to start a conversation with a human being.
5. In some cases what I have found effective is that after you read a profile and find something that strikes you, it is a good idea that you mention that in your first message. Let me give an example. For example, this person has attended University of Miami and so have you. So it is much better to start off by saying "Hello from Mary, alumnus of University of Miami. Would you like to chat please?"
6. If you get a private (and polite) message from someone that you do not wish to chat with (for whatever reason), be polite, thank her/him, and decline that you are not available for chat. For the same reason, if you are engaging in a private chat with someone and are too busy to respond to others, it is best to exit a chat room and carry on a private conversation. Continued presence in a chat room implies that you are available for a chat.

What to do once you meet someone interesting?

1. Add that person to your chat friends list after asking for their permission. Also exchange email addresses, if that works out.
2. After the chat is over, and if you hit it off, find out if s/he will be interested in chatting again. So either agree on a time to reconnect or get a sense of her/his usual time for chatting.
3. Send a thank you note after the chat. This is also a great way to show that you are interested and confirm that the email address is valid.

Safety tips for chat rooms

1. Do not give out your real name, physical address, employer name, telephone number, etc. unless you have known each other for a while.
2. Do not send out photos that you would not like to be seen posted all over the Internet. Once you have sent something, it is out of your control (and often out of control of even the person who posted it someplace).
3. If you do meet the person in real life, make sure that you talk on the phone first, and then meet in a public place, rather than going to a home.
4. If you are committing adultery, it is important that you do not disclose any information that can come to hurt you. There is no reason to trust someone you just met on the Internet. It could very well be your spouse (it has happened in many cases).

Finally, chat rooms work. We have heard from dozens of people who tell us that the chat rooms were actually more effective (time and money-wise) than bars in finding a date.

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