Get back into the dating game with positive attitude

Latonya in Atlanta writes, "I am a divorced, 31 year old with three children. I have currently been failing in my relationships. Recently I was involved with a 23 year old that I loved unconditionally. Unfortunately, he left me for another woman with 5 children and married her in less than 5 months. This episode has caused me to become even more bitter. I have truly given up on dating. I cannot and refuse to be hurt again, but I would love to be in a normal relationship. Please help."

I totally understand what you are going through. When you give your best to a relationship and then it does not come together, it is natural to feel frustrated and depressed. But the reality is that one or two failed relationships do not tell you much. Just because there are one or two jerks that you ran into, it does not mean that there are no good men left.

Additionally, being bitter or cynical does you no good because no man (and for that matter, anyone else too) would like you with that attitude. Most people will simply leave you alone and trying to get rid of you. So what I would suggest is that if you need more time to recover from the previous relationship, take some more time off in which you do not date, but that does not mean that you grieve. Being single can be fun for a while because you can just spoil yourself, flirt with anyone you like, and just do things that you really like to do without feeling sorry for yourself for being single.

Once you are fully rested and recharged, get back into the dating game as if you are starting to date for the very first time. That means no preconceived ideas and biases, because let me me tell you, we all can be wrong in our judgments. Give new men an opportunity to fall in love with you and you should give your best too. Life is about trying and success and failures are just part of the game. So learn from your failures and enjoy your successes, but never give up.

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