Insecure men can get better by taking simple steps

I had written previously about insecure men and my analysis of who these men are has definitely convinced Martin that he is one of them. He says, "I am that guy, and I didn't realize it was that bad or noticeable. My girlfriend of 16 months has put up with it, and while we both agree that I've gotten a lot better about it, I still feel that I have a problem (especially after reading your posting!). I'm often out of town a lot for work and have feelings of insecurity and anxiety about what my girlfriend could be doing. She messed up a couple times in the beginning of our relationship and I feel like that's where most of my insecurity is still coming from. What should I do? It is killing me."

You have taken the toughest step already by admitting to yourself that you have a problem. It seems that this admission on your part was probably the most important reason you have made some progress. People like you have low self esteem too. They lack confidence in their ability to make a woman keep loving them and live under constant fear that she will find another man.

So what can you do to get even better?

1. Just take it easy. You can never really force anyone (unless you resort to abuse) to love you or to do things that only you want - once that person realizes that it is not making them happy, that person will move on. So you have to try to be a better person and that is what will keep a woman hooked on to you.
2. Love your partner without doubts. You have to love your girlfriend the most you can and forget about what she might do - if you think you can stop a woman from cheating on you, you are naive. Even if you did not travel this much, but if a woman wants to commit adultery, she will and you will rarely or never find out. However, if you are a good man to your woman, if you love her with all your heart and respect her, I see no reason for her to do anything stupid.

Having said that, if this woman is not trustworthy because of her record, it is better to dump her unless she has reformed and has promised not to do anything like that again. You must, at this point, take her word and build a beautiful relationship. However, if you cannot trust her, it will be better to end the relationship with this woman. But what I have said above must apply to any woman you date in the future.

Recommended reading

How to start fresh after a breakup

Adultery is acceptable sometimes

Satisfy her or she will cheat