How to ask a woman to divorce her husband?

We have discussed how to approach a a woman who is already in a relationship and then dating for married people. Now we have a situation in which a man has found his soulmate but she happens to be married. And this is no happy marriage - she is actually in an abusive relationship - but she still is not ready to divorce for the sake of her children.

"I don't understand why or how she can stay with this man who is an alcoholic. Nevertheless, I told her I'd wait the nine years until her youngest is an adult. I know that sounds crazy, but this is how much I love her. She is my best friend and I know that I will treat her with the love and respect that she deserves. I know the feelings are mutual. Anyway, my question to you is simply this: How should I go about asking her to divorce?" he asks.

Well, congratulations on finding your soulmate - you are the lucky one.

Now, let's talk about your relationship. You are putting yourself in a very tricky situation. While it is very romantic of you to be willing to wait this long (and what is the guarantee that after that time she will still not refuse to leave her husband?), it is highly unpractical - she will be in an adulterous relationship for next nine years and you will miss the chance to find another woman. That is why it is best to convince her to get a divorce.

Getting a divorce is not an easy decision - people struggle over it for years. Divorce destroys families. Give her time, show the value of the relationship with you, and let her make up her own mind. At the same time, if you can, develop a relationship with her children. If she is convinced that you can be a good father figure for her children, it may be easier for her to see you as a husband.

And finally, don't push her. What will convince her to end her marriage is the love that she will see coming from you for her and the children. I would also say that if she is not convinced to leave her husband for you, you might want to rethink your options.

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