How to fight fears in a relationship?

When a woman is in a relationship with a significant age gap, she has two major concerns: Is this man going to leave me for a younger woman and If he is simply using me? Carla has the first issue to deal with. She writes, "I am not yet 40 and my new boyfriend (of 2 months) is six years younger. When we met, I really thought he was about my age. We are fine with this age disparity. He's divorced; has already been a step-father to a boy whose mother is 8 years older than my boyfriend. Children are not my top priority. I have had more years of a career than in a truly loving relationship. I'd like to have lots of time with this person before thinking about kids. The niggly thought is: at 40, will he leave me to have a family with someone who is still able? This fear is what has me thinking of putting the brakes on; even breaking up with him. I would really appreciate any info you may be able to share with me."

Indeed, your prospects of getting pregnant are rapidly declining and I am sure that he understands this. If he has chosen to have a relationship with you, he fully understands that kids are probably out of question, at least not without some kind of fertility treatment.

So if you like him, I would say that there is no reason to breakup based only on a baseless fear. There are so many reasons that a man may end a relationship and this is just one of them. So be positive and give your best to the relationship. If he wants other kids and loves you, adoption is one option, but I am sure that he is not interested in more kids - he wouldn't be "wasting" his time with you.