Marry a girl I met on the Internet without meeting

Pedro, a Hispanic-American, writes, "I met my girlfriend online, and we have been communicating almost everyday since we met 6 months ago. We love each other dearly and plan to marry eventually, even though we haven't "physically" met yet. We are going to meet in a couple of months (I'm traveling to Brazil). There is only one thing that I'm worried about. I'm 51 and she's 32 -- big age difference, and although she says that the age difference doesn't matter, I am still worried a little bit. Her father is Chinese and I am worried that she will have many problems with her family once she announces that she's in love with an older Mexican-American guy. We plan on her coming to the USA to marry me, but in the mean time, I need to know how to deal with her family -- an Asian family that has been established in Brazil for many years."

Marriage for green card

Not that I suspect that with your girlfriend, but I hope that you realize that many women simply want to marry anyone with an American passport -- the so-called marriage for a green card. It is something that you need to think about and watch out for. If she shows desperation then you need to really make sure that she won't marry you and then leave once she gets her green card.

Marriage through online dating without a real date

While I am a big supporter of online dating, I am always suspicious of people falling in love and planning to get married without ever meeting. Buddy, if you want to listen to my advice, slow down. Yes you can do both but make sure that you are even talking to the same person behind the webcam or email. I have heard enough stories from my readers who found otherwise once they met -- people lie a lot more than acceptable while dating on the Internet. That is why I suggest that people go a little slow in online dating.

How to tell your family about your foreign boyfriend who is also older and of a different race?

Do I understand it right that she has not yet told her parents that she is dating you? You better make sure that she does so right away and if her parents have a huge problem with that and she wants to listen to them, then you better not waste your time and money traveling to Brazil. This is an issue that she needs to handle. You need to strategize with her but she is the one who knows her family better than anyone else. She is the one who has to tell them that you are a wonderful guy, that she is in love with you, and that they should join her in happiness. Of course, you will need to formally ask for her hand in marriage, but I think that you may be trying to do too much in your first visit. I would suggest that you spend this trip on getting to know her better and dealing with issues I have raised here. Come back to the US, think things over, make sure that you are comfortable with everything, and then actually make another trip to ask for her hand in marriage.

Remember that I wish you well and have nothing against you or your girlfriend -- I raised a few questions so that you get an unbiased opinion from someone before you take such an important step.