How to move on after a divorce?

I wrote previously about life after divorce for men. What many people fail to realize is that men too suffer from a divorce, often a lot more than women do. Many men simply do not have the coping mechanisms that women have developed over centuries of evolution.

Arthur is one of these men who is having a very difficult time with his divorce. "I just recently went through a divorce that I never wanted. I have placed the blame squarely on me and now I have so much guilt that I don't even know how to begin getting over it. I do know that it takes two to tango and now that I have taken the time to look back at things, she is also at fault, but when we talk about things she refuses to even admit that she had any part in this. With that being said, I have still taken the blame for everything. How does one put all the BS behind and start living again?" he asks.

First of all, it is best not to dwell over this issue with your ex and try to figure out what went wrong (the time to do anything is long gone). Your divorce is a done deal and it is best that you move on and so should she. Having said that, it is good to reflect briefly on your past to learn the lessons that will come handy in the future.

Secondly, life is about the future. There is nothing that you can do about the past but you can do amazing things with your future. Think about your life ahead and how you can change it to your liking.

Third, start to focus on your hobbies and develop a simple timeline to do things that you had always wanted to do but couldn't find the time to do them (it could have been a hobby that she hated or places that you wanted to visit but she did not or something else). It is also a good idea to develop a new circle of friends as you might have lost some due to the divorce and there will be occasions where you may not be welcome any more because you are now single.

And finally, I always recommend that one not jump into a relationship right away or even date for the first 3-6 months. So enjoy your single life for a while and rediscover what you really want from the rest of your life. Trust me, if you are a good man, there are a lot of wonderful women out there dying to find you.