I am a cougar dating a younger man

It is not just the celebrities that are assuming the role of cougars. Ordinary women that you see every day are finding love with younger men.

Kathleen, a 44-year old and a mother of a teenage son, too has fallen in love with a man who is just 24. "I met him a year ago. I thought he was so handsome and there seemed to be something special about him, but I didn't think he would want to date someone my age. We talked on the phone for a year and really developed a mental bond. He is intelligent, has good morals and values, is spiritual, and has everything that a woman could dream of. I didn't intend to fall in love with him but I have and I think the age difference is an issue. I tried not to think that at first, but after talking to him, he wants kids and I think he is a bit apprehensive about what his family will think. He has never brought up taking me around any of his friends or family which makes me feel like I am some kinda secret. Although he has indicated to me he "told" his family about me. My family would accept him if I'm happy with him. I am at a crossroads now. I love him but I am seeing some maturity issues, rather lack thereof, and I'm wondering if I should jump ship now before I get hurt. I know this guy cares for me, he tells me he loves me, and our lovemaking is phenomenal. I seem to attract younger men because I look 35, not 45, and I have a young spirit. I don't want to let him go, but I don't know if I should move forward either. Please help."

I advise a lot of women and couples in similar situations and it is important to understand that it is nothing unusual and most couples do just fine despite the age gap.

Now in your specific case, remember that at your age, it is not easy to get pregnant and have a healthy child, unless you choose donor eggs. There is a very low probability of getting pregnant naturally and still have a healthy baby but you both need to understand that the possibility is less than 5%.

I am also a little concerned that he has not bothered to declare what he has been up to. As you suspect, maybe you are just his secret relationship, and I wouldn't be surprised if he has simply told his family that he is dating someone rather than giving them all the details like your age and the fact that you are a mom to a teenager.

I do not think you should breakup right now. Give him a chance to take things to the next level. Like introductions to friends and family and discuss what is next for you both. It is also important to think about out what is it that you want from him and this relationship. A boy toy for a while or someone you want to marry? If you and him do not share the same future for the relationship, then it is best to end it sooner rather than later.