How can I convince my older girlfriend to make love to me?

Noah writes, "I have a good relationship with an attractive older woman. She is 19 years older than I am. We enjoy deep conversations. I want our relationship to become closer. I want to make love to her and find it appropriate for us to do it. She has not said that she does not want it in our relationship but she seems uncertain. She seems hesitant about our age difference. She has said that if we were closer in age things would be different. She said that she lost her virginity the same year I was born. She has not said that she would not enjoy it together. How can I encourage her to think differently about age differences in regards to being physically intimate? Might there be other reasons why she seems uncertain about physical intimacy? Is it common despite age difference in a relationship for the man to want intimacy and find it appropriate and a woman to seem hesitant about it in the relationship?"

I think at this time she is probably also uncertain about your relationship and is afraid that being physically intimate with you will only complicate the situation for both of you.

There can be other reasons for her reluctance. As women get older, they suffer from menopause and many women suffer from lower libido. Vaginal dryness is also common, making it somewhat less pleasurable to make love. She could also be suffering from depression or taking medication that could lower desire.

As women get older, and particularly if they have had children, they also see sagging of breasts, accumulation of fat in many areas, and cellulite, making them feel somewhat less attractive and doubt if a younger man more used to seeing younger women would find them attractive.

If I were you and was completely confident that I wanted to have a serious relationship with her (and not just casual sex) I would not push her into sex at this point. I would much rather spend my time building the relationship and gaining her trust that it is neither about lust nor a short-term fling or a young man's fetish for a mature woman. Do you have the desire and the patience to do this? If so you will be rewarded big time in the end with all her love and passion.