How not to scare my partner the first time we make love?

Simon writes, "I am about to start dating a Japanese woman, and well I have to say I have a healthy libido so to speak. One of the reasons I am writing to you is I don't want to frighten off the lady when it comes to the physical aspect of the relationship. She is slightly older than I am. I would say I am quite a dominant person but can play the other role if needed. The main thing is I again don't want to scare her off and I want to attend to her needs as well. I know there is a bit of a cultural difference, I know how to speak the language so I can respond in that way but any other advice would be helpful. There's just that little bit of fear with the unknown there for me."

I think your fears are well founded but what I am realizing is that you might have these issues with any woman, not just a Japanese.

My experience with Japanese women and the discussions I have had with hundreds of men over the years on this topic tell me that Japanese women try very hard to please and will do things that other women might say no to. So there is a possibility that you might not even realize when you are pushing her too hard.

So I would say that you should start slowly and take one step at a time. I don't think you want to do everything in your head the very first time unless she strongly signals to you that that is what she also wants. Making love has to a process in which both partners learn more about each other little by little.