My boyfriend does not like to spend time with me

Rachel writes, "I've been with my man for almost 4 years and one year out of the four we have lived together. When we moved in together we went through a lot of rough patches, then we resolved them, but now that I'm a manager of my own department at my job he has been real picky about the time I spend at work and then with him. He is gone most of the day and I don't get to see him, but now when I get a chance to spend time with him he doesn't want to leave the house until later at night claiming that he has spent enough time with me and now it's time for his friends. I don't pick on him for staying at home; I just don't want him to be ashamed of me. Is it me?"

The way I see it is that a man who spends time with his friends without his partner is ignoring her. I think there is time for guys to hang out together occasionally or to do things that might not interest some women, like going ice fishing or playing certain sports, but in general, any man in a committed relationship should try to include his partner in almost everything.

That is how I do it and I always encourage my guy friends to bring their partners or even friends (if they are single) so that my wife does not feel excluded. For example, even when I go out with my buddies to do things that my wife has no interest in, once a bunch of spouses get together they can always go shopping in the area but then join us for a meal.