Should I let my son lose his virginity?

Elizabeth writes, "I am asking about my son. He is a senior in high school and has a girlfriend. They seem to care about each other a lot. He has been taking a sex education class at school. He has said to me that now he is taking this course that he thinks that he should be allowed to have sex in his room with his girlfriend who he says that he loves. He said that in the other subjects in school he is given a chance to practice what he has learned at home. He asks why not with sex. He said that he is curious about sex and wants to try the different positions he has heard about. I guess this is normal he said that he wants to make sweet passionate love to his girlfriend. I don’t know if he knows what making love is about. I know my son’s girlfriend’s mom and she mentioned that her daughter asked her about good positions to use during the first time. Being a mom I am concerned but at the same time I want my son to have a good first time. He mentioned for a gift he would like to have a time and place in which he could make love to his girlfriend. I am debating whether it is ok or not. Any considerations? Is it true if I say no is he and his girlfriend are just going to have sex anyway but just not at home? Being a mom I am concerned but at the same time I don’t want to present sex as being wrong or dirty. He does have a loving relationship but is young. Any information about this?"

First of all, you should feel lucky and proud of raising a son that actually waited this long and then asked his mother's permission. The average age at which kids lose virginity is 13 (and even those stupid virginity pledges do not work) and almost always parents have no clue when it happens. So it is awesome that he is including you in the process and it is great that the girl's mom is aware/supportive.

I am one of those people that believe that if parents teach reading, writing, using knife/fork/, driving, and all the other hundreds of things that will make them successful in life, why not sex? And why stop them from having it when they will go ahead and do it anyway. By teaching them about sex in a healthy way, the parents can make sure that they just don't have it with a random person and also use protection.

Yes, it may be difficult for them to know all the emotional things related to relationships (and I guess even for us adults it is a work-in-progress) and you can help him to some extent. It is great to talk about all the issues related to love and sex in a frank and honest manner to develop a healthy attitude towards sex, respect for women, and being responsible about it.

That is why I encourage you to give him this as a gift complete with a condom. I am assuming that you will be able to provide them with complete privacy for a night or so at least.