Should I make love to a much younger man who loves me?

Tiffany writes, "I am what some may describe as a busty woman. I have been divorced for about four months. Lately I have been getting closer and spending more time with a younger man. I enjoy him. I have suspected that he wants to become more intimate. I am guessing that he may want to make love to me. I am thinking about whether it would be appropriate or not to have it him. He is a nice man and I like the attention from him. It may be too close to my divorce to consider being so close to someone. Also being on the busty side I don’t want him to become turned off if and when he sees me without clothes. I have talked to several of my women friends about him. One said not to worry about him becoming turned off and that there maybe a possibility that he wants to love all of me. She said that if that is the case what would be wrong with it. Another lady friend of mine said that we are both single and that our age difference should not be an issue in us having physical intimacy. She also said that if a younger man finds you attractive and wants to do it what is wrong with that. She also said that I may enjoy lovemaking again and may like the experience of having it with a younger man. Is there any truth in these statements? Are there common reason that younger men want older women? If he wants to love me and he uses the physical expression of sex to do that it may be OK. I don’t want to just be a tool in which he uses me to have an experience with an older woman. How can I know of his intentions? If and when I consider sleeping with him what things should be part of our relationship? What things should we do/have done before considering going to bed? Sex may be a wonderful way to express one's feelings, one's love, one's commitment. How can I be sure that our lovemaking will have these elements? How can I be sure of his commitment before as well as after we do it? We don’t want to have a baby but what are some things that we each could gain by? If we do it, how can I be sure that he will like my body ? As a woman with big breasts, what can I do to make the experience good for him? As a curvaceous woman, what positions work best?"

It is understandable why a man that likes you and you like him wants to make love to you. He is obviously attracted to you and feels sexual attraction towards you. I am not convinced that a woman has to wait a certain period of time before having sex after divorce. If the opportunity is right, you are free to make love to anyone you like.

Now unless you have been covering yourself in bedsheets all this time, this guy should have a fairly good idea of how you look. In other words, he likes you the way you are and I very much doubt if he will be turned off. Any man with a functioning brain knows how women look at different ages and there should be nothing surprising there. Most likely he really likes your body. It is wrong to think all men like only skinny girls. Men are attracted to all kinds of women, and the most important thing is that emotional connection. Once that happens looks are really secondary.

I also think that your girlfriends are right in everything they say. The age difference should not be an issue if you are otherwise a good couple. If he likes you and you like him, you will enjoy making love to him. Who knows he might turn out to be a better lover when you can take the role of the more experienced partner and let him take some tips from you.

I think there are some men who have a fetish for a mature woman and are fascinated by the idea of having sex with someone who has lots of experience. She can teach him, a mature woman can be more patient, and often even be better lover than him. A woman of same age can be impatient and not always appreciative of her lover's performance. In rare cases, a man might see his mother in his lover, which is kind of very complex Freudian analysis of such relationships.

I think if you are not sure that this man wants a serious relationship -- and time will tell that -- then I totally understand why it does not make sense to make love to him right away. It is something to discuss with him honestly and frankly that what he is looking for and do you both see a meaningful future for your relationship.

I guess regardless of the age difference you have to do the things that any woman has to do in a relationship. Learn more about him and his plans for the relationship with you. What does he want? Is it what you want too? Are you just hanging out or is there a future here? There is no good answer to when you should have sex. Some women will have it on the third date while others wait till they are married. It all depends on the relationship. If you emotionally and physically want it, then you know you are ready.

To me sex is a celebration of a couple's love for each other. We all have sexual needs and when he is investing all this time into the relationship, obviously, sex is his way of telling you that he wants you all, not just chats and movies.

Now I don't know how you look and how you look without clothes, but most likely he will like you the way you are. Don't get too bogged down with it because that will only make you too self-conscious. In any case, since we all have not-so-attractive parts in our bodies, my advice to women is to show off what is great and hide what is not so great. While I don't know this but if you have a big bust but not so great legs, well then show off your chest in a beautiful bra but wear a longer skirt like sleepwear to hide the legs. You get the idea.

I am yet to meet a man who does not like a woman's breast, so use your breasts effectively, even as a sex organ, I can add. I am yet to meet a man who disliked his body, particularly his sex organs, massaged by breasts. Regarding sex positions, just go with the flow; I do not think breast size makes a big difference as long as your breasts are right in front of him and he can either look at them or touch them or kiss/suck them while making love.