How do I approach my married ex girlfriend?

Norman writes, "What does a man do who has known a woman for years and has a past relationship with her and now after 4 years she is married? What does the man do to express that he still loves her and cares for her more than any other man? The reason for the original breakup 4 years ago was not due to relationship problems, it was due to personal/financial issues that stood in the way of having a successful relationship. How does he get the married woman back? He knows he loves her because everyday he prays to god that if he was to die before he wakes up that god would grant him to be her guardian angel. Which means he is not only willing to share his heart, he is willing to share his soul with her. He thinks about her more than he thinks about himself so he is willing to share his mind with her. Even when he is not thinking about her, he asks himself why is he not thinking about her, then he takes the time to think about her. He even writes poems about her everyday. How does the man approach the married woman? Should he do something big and extravagant for her even if the married woman's husband finds out?"

This is a very delicate situation and my first reaction is that you should leave her alone. If she is happily married it would be unethical and unfair to she and her loving husband that a former lover upsets their family.

Now considering how deep your love for her is, my suggestion to you would be not to do anything big and extravagant but something small and discreet (that way no one will be hurt in the process). If there is any way for you to contact her and have cup of coffee with her in a public place (it will be a hopeful sign if she agrees to it in the first place), try to find out more about her. How is her marriage? How is she? What does she think about your relationship?

If you see any hints of dissatisfaction, you can casually mention how much you care for her still, and hopefully, you both can find out if it is worthwhile reviving the old relationship.

If you get an idea that she is perfectly fine in her marriage, (since you appear to be a religious person) I would think that it would be a sin to suggest anything to her.

I know it is frustrating and sad but we all get chances in life. We take some and can't take others. It is best to move on, since if you love her as much as you say, the best thing you can do for her is to leave her alone and let her go on with her new life. There are a lot of wonderful women out there and I am sure that for a loving man like you, any woman would find you a great husband.