My boyfriend does not have sex with me

One of my long time readers, Grace, writes, "I always find your advice helpful and for this I want to thank you but you know problems in relationship never end. I am in relationship for over ten months but for the last three months we have not been having sex so much -- maybe in one month we have once or twice and the worst thing is that it does not last too long. This makes me angry sometimes and when I want to have sex and I touch him he removes my hands from him. Before we used to have sex five or four times in a week and I liked it. I tried talking to him about it and he said that he still loves and finds me sexy even if we did not have sex so many times. We live together and this affects our relationship but sometimes it is disappointing. Sometimes I try to figure out if they are just words which come from his mouth to make me feel good or is it normal. I don't want to cheat on him by taking someone else to fulfill my desires, but what do I do?"

I can understand that something like this might happen after being married for 10-20 years for people in their 40s and 50s, but if it happens after just 10 months, there is a serious problem in the relationship. When it happens so soon in a relationship, there can be a few reasons:

1. He has lost interest in you and is hoping to end this relationship as soon as he can. This behavior indicates that.
2. He has found another lover.
3. He has mental health problems. For example, he could be depressed, worried, or is living under a very high level of stress.

I think if it is #3, then you should try to help him by visiting a doctor and/or helping him overcome his worries and stress, but if it is #1 or 2, it may be time to end the relationship.