My fiance broke up with me during pregnancy

Karen writes, "My fiance broke up with me in our 8th month of pregnancy. I was devastated! I had gestational diabetes so the pregnancy was scary enough. He had stopped making love to me and said that it was because he didn't want to hurt the baby. Yet, I found out he had emailed his ex-girlfriend (one he hooked up with when we broke up over the summer). I also found out he had been watching porn and looking up ex-girlfriends on Facebook. The night I asked him about the frequency of our intimacy, he exploded and denied cheating. Then he gave me the silent treatment for 2 weeks (me and my 12 year old; we all live together). Next thing I know 2 weeks later he told me it was over and he would stay in the house and sleep on the sofa till the baby was born and then get an apartment. Well he made the last trimester of the pregnancy a living hell!! He didn't speak to me or my son; he simply shut us both out. His only interaction with me was twice a day asking me via a text message if i needed anything but the tone was completely robotic and emotionless. During the baby shower he left to go visit an ex-girlfriend from college and didn't come to the shower at all. Another night he was with the same girl (I think) and when I asked him his whereabouts he said it didn't matter because he never loved me. I was crushed!!! He was also disconnected with me during the delivery which had to be natural childbirth because it was too late for the epidural. What pain!!! I finally had enough and asked him to leave once I came home. Please tell me why do men do things like this! Is my case bizarre or typical male b.s! I keep wondering if he was exceptionally crazy?

Your story is truly tragic one and I feel so sorry about how things turned out for you.

I like to believe that most men are not like him. It appears to me that he was lying when he said that he never loved you but there is a strong possibility that he was not happy with the pregnancy. It could be that he never wanted to father a child (or at least with you) or maybe changed his mind once you became pregnant. There could also be other problems in your relationship and none of them could be your fault. For example, if he is addicted to women (contacting all his girlfriends from the past) then he will never be faithful to one woman.

The good news is that you have rid yourself of a man who was not a great man for you in the first place. I think you are now free to go on with your life and not have to constantly watch if your fiance is cheating with another girl. Now you can try to find another man who will value monogamy as much as you do. And please promise that you will never give up on the idea that there are still a lot of good men out there