My live-in boyfriend does not help pay the bills

Katie writes, "I have been in a relationship with a truck driver for two years. He is faithful, loving, and spiritual. He is great with my children, helpful around the house and he's considerate. My problems are he does not help pay bills no matter how much I try to talk about it and no matter how much I fuss over it. He will give me one hundred dollars toward a bill or nothing at all but mainly it's nothing at all. I don't want to end the relationship but I feel that I have done all I can. I even put him out of my house because of the finances. I am confused because he wants to work things out and I don't know what to do."

If I understand the living arrangements right, he is abusing it -- you pay the bills and he lives rent free. If he is not helping pay the bills, I am assuming that he does not consider himself part of the household.

As a truck driver he is probably on the road most of the time and when he is in town, he just sleeps in your house (and he thinks he is a guest). It is a perfect arrangement for him -- he does not need to have a place, pay rent for it and maintain it, but he still has a place to call his own.

He is clearly exploiting the situation. I think that you have done enough to address it and the only course left for you is that you tell him not to come and stay with you when he is in town. He is still welcome to date you but as far as finding a place to sleep he should figure that out.

If he wants to work things out, well, then, sit down and rewrite the rules. He will need to contribute a fixed amount each month towards the bills if he wants to have a nice, warm bed when he needs it. No payments and he is out of the house.