Can I maintain a friendship with my married ex boyfriend?

Liz dated a married man and then broke up with him after realizing that he merely wanted her as a mistress and was not interested in a long term relationship with her nor could she force the married boyfriend to divorce his wife. He has insisted on seeing her and she has been tempted. "I really don't want to see him again, but I know it's easier said than done. He is a computer science professor and I am studying information technology and actually that is how we hooked up. He promised to help me with my courses and also talked about helping me find employment after I graduate. He calls me now saying we should meet, when he comes back from a business trip,that he wants to take me out, and that we should spend the night together and nothing will happen. I told him that is not possible and I will not allow it. But I just don't know if I should cut all connections with this man. He has connections that might be needed in the future. He is kinda influential in some circles and can open many doors for me, literally changing my life. What do you think?"

No, please do not get in touch with him again. It will be impossible to maintain just a professional relationship with him after all that you went through (romantic and sexual relationship). He is using his power, money, and influence to charm you and looks as if you are still charmed by him. Yes, losing him will be a loss and may hurt you in terms of your career, but I know that sometimes you have to take difficult decisions. You already have a boyfriend and this man is not for you. He is married anyway.

Based on what you have told me all this time, it is a terrible idea to meet him again even for a cup of coffee together. Are you really that naive to believe that "we should spend the night together and nothing will happen" means that you will write apps for iPhone? Why would a married man want to spend a night with a woman he once had sex with? To have sex, obviously.

Please forget this man. There is nothing in it for you. Maybe he might help you out in some way but the price that you will have to pay is very high. It is best to go ahead through your skills rather than paying for his help with sex.