I am skeptical of dating a younger man

Megan writes, "I met this guy about one month ago. He came in to deliver a package (Fedex). He started having conversation with me. He seemed pretty cool and because I just got out of a little fling with a guy that was 11 years older than me, well, I decided that I should start getting out meeting people and here he comes along. Anyway I was telling him about my birthday and he asked, "How old will you be? 34?" I said, "No; I will be 43," and he said, "You look so young." I have been told that by men and women. Looking at him with all the facial hair I assumed that he was about 36 and I said well it's nothing wrong with dating someone or having a friendship with someone that is just 7 years younger. I was wrong. He is only 26. I was like I have been around the corner and back and you are just trying to turn the corner. He said that age is just a number. Well, I decided to let him take me out to dinner and it was okay. He then took me to the game room, which I'm not into games, but I enjoyed the tennis match. He does have an old mindset. He listens to old love and sad songs, which really surprised me. I just knew he was going to have rap on. Anyway the age thing is getting to me. Sometimes I think he just wanted to hook up with an older woman to see what it feels like. It's something about him I don't trust, but can't put my finger on it. Oh, and besides I'm 16 years older. Well, to make a long story short he comes up here un-announced and he doesn't even have a package for me. I'm trying to find a way to tell him don't do that. The last time he said I hurt his feelings. All I said was I used to be a player and I know one when I see one, which I think I feel like that because of the bad relationship I just came out of 4 months ago. I'm not ready to date anyone, and mainly not a 26 year old, but I think he is really feeling me. I like him as a person and find him sexy. I did get him a kiss when he took me out to say thank you and I must say he had soft lips. I'm so confused! I never dated anyone that young before and I just think younger men are cheaters and like one of your readers said "how does she know if her young lover not drop her for a younger woman." I mean it is summer time and the ladies are out with their with their short skirts and cute outfits, as well as I am. I guess that's why people also think I'm young. Anyway what is your take on this?"

I actually get emails like this almost every day. These are my thoughts.

1. Never assume anything. How can you be sure that all young men are cheats?
2. If you look and feel young, well, take advantage of this. There are women in their 40s who behave like my grandma in her 80s.
3. Yes, young men can be accused of many things (I have got hundreds of stories of young guys who just wanted bragging rights or the thrill of dating and having sex with a desperate, sex-starved mature woman or were just desperate for a date with anyone or whatever else drove them) but isn't that true for men of any age dating a woman their age?
4. Based on what you tell me, I do see that you both appear to have some initial chemistry. And I have heard from dozens of men, women, and couples who are in beautiful relationships despite huge age gaps. The reason is the same that holds a marriage of a couple with similar age together: love, respect, shared goals, compatibility, and common interests. In other words, there is much more going on for you two than a crush or fetish.

My conclusion is that it is too early for you to kill this. And it will be a "sin" (and I don't mean it in the religious sense) to deny this pleasure to you and to him. So go ahead and explore him and see where things end up. It is OK to be upfront about your doubts and tell him that you still want to give it a chance and that is why you are dating him. People regret what they did not do rather than what they did. If he is otherwise a good man, I think he deserves a chance and his age should not be held against him.

So go ahead with an open mind, give your best to it as you would do a man in your age group, and see what happens. And yep, keep those outfits cute; my wife and I who are exactly your age look and feel as we were 20 years ago and are proud of it.