I have fallen out of love with my husband

Natalie writes, "My husband and I had a relationship for almost 5 years and we married one year ago. I really love him. I can sacrifice anything, including my life to keep him safe and happy. At the same time, I have to admit I am just a little bit tired of our relationship. I can't find passion any longer. I want to find another relationship and this kind of thought make me feel guilty. I mean I don't want to leave my husband but I want to fall in love with others. It is not right. What can I do?"

I really admire your love for your husband and how much you are willing to sacrifice for his happiness and safety.

Now as you are rightfully feeling so, marriages can get a little boring after a while. You have not told me exactly what is wrong with him or your marriage, but most women and men realize that marriage is not like how they show in the movies or wedding magazines. After a while sex is not the same, the husband may not pay as much attention to you, and the worries about money and household can make it so stressful. Also, the first few years of marriage are the most challenging because we have to manage our expectations and are more likely to react strongly to whatever we don't like.

I think the media has glamorized wedding and marriage. For vast majority of people, yes, it is nice to have a man that loves you and you can then face all the challenges of life together, but it is a tough life out there and marriage, with all its responsibilities, makes it even harder.

Now if you have completely fallen out of love with your husband, then you have to really consider if you want to remain married. You have a long life ahead of you and if you do not love your man, that will be a problem. But I understand why some women simply cannot consider divorce. In that case, you have to figure out what is it that is missing in your marriage or life. It is best to talk to your husband about it and try to make it happen. For example, if he works too hard, you can discuss to make sure that you two spend enough time together. Or whatever else that is problematic, you can see if you can change it.

Regarding getting another lover, well, I sometimes support that idea, but as you know, it is not right and very problematic. You can be caught and no man will love you forever and be the other man. Eventually this man will also like to have a wife and family of his own. But yes, this is possible. I know many women who have part-time lovers that they meet from time to time for dates and sex or even go on vacation with them. They prefer young men (for example, college students) who are more likely to listen to what you tell them to do, and once they leave town, there are always new students coming to the university. And I don't know if you are interested, but these days, it is possible to have online relationship.