Is it right for me to start dating younger men?

I had told a 40-year old woman who is still single, "At this point, most men are married, and the ones that are single are either divorced or have had a few relationships that did not lead to a happy marriage. Wonderful that these men maybe, they are also more likely to be somewhat cynical and skeptical. That just makes it harder for them and the women they date to move forward easily."

She wrote to me and here is her response:

"Seeing that you have so many articles on your site about older women dating younger men, maybe I don't have to limit myself to looking for men around my age who can be cynical and skeptical. Maybe I should broaden my options. At any rate, I get mostly younger guys coming on to me anyway and I rarely date guys my age. However, I am very careful because it seems I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. Because I don't look my age (although what does a 40 year old supposed to look like?), I am that age, so though I attract younger guys, I don't want to end up being the proverbial Mrs. Robinson, if you know what I mean.

While it is the norm for older men to date and marry younger women, most guys don't see themselves in long-term committed relationships with women significantly older than they are because of the children factor or for various other preconceived notions. I understand their skepticism; however, I am not going to sell myself short just because of my age. In my mind, I'm every bit as viable, and vibrant as someone in their 20's even if society doesn't think so."

I still have some suggestions for a woman in similar circumstances. I would suggest that you approach dating younger men with caution. Yes, I have heard from couples like that who are deeply in love, and happily married, but there is also a small group of relationships that did not work out (of course, that is true for couples with no age gap too). It is a bit tricky for those men that want to have a family but will find it difficult with a woman that is 40+, but then not all men want children (and some may already have kids from a previous relationship). As long as you are direct and honest that you do not want to have a relationship with a younger guy just to show him off as a trophy or to experience sex with him, you can attract the right kind of guys.