How to patch up with my ex boyfriend?

Cassandra writes, "I broke up with my boyfriend because of his commitment phobia and the differences that we have about how to move forward but now I regret that I ended the relationship and miss him already. I want to patch up with him and make things work. I am wondering if I can ask one of our mutual friends to help us get back together. There are a few friends we both know and did things together in the past. Most of the close ones are my friends to start with. I know that his best friend and his sister-in-law like me a lot but I doubt he talked to them about our problems. He is the kind of guy who does not talk to others about his emotional issues, he goes to the "cave" to think things through. Please give me the tips to use a friend to help us get back together, if you don't think my friends will put him in defensive mood."

Neutral parties can help with reconciling differences

At this point it will be hard for both of you to talk face to face. I am sure that he feels a lot of resentment against you for dumping him and you feel anger and frustration that he has not even called and did not take it seriously when you broke up with him. In other words, if you were to pick up the phone and try to chat with him, you will either break down and make a fool of yourself or say things that might come to bite you later.

If you have a trusted friend then he or she can approach him. The sister-in-law (I prefer a family member more than a friend) can tell him that she found out that you two had broken up and it is very sad because you two were such a great couple. She wants to do her best to get you two back together because it is best for both of them (she does not have to disclose that you are the one pushing for a reconciliation). Yes, there are differences in what you both out of the relationship, but there may be a way to come to some kind of a middle ground. Maybe a dinner can be arranged for everyone to get together and talk things through.

I think if he agrees to come it means that he wants to patch up as much as you do and then you two can discuss how to work out your differences and come to a compromise. Remember that you might have to give up your demand that lead to the breakup and maybe suggest something less.