How to tell an older woman that I have a crush on her

Kurt writes, "I am secretly in love with a woman twice my age but although being 45 years old she looks like she's in her mid 30's. Needless to say she's blessed. She's very beautiful and has a great personality. She currently lives with a boyfriend but I am told by a mutual friend that she likes me too but is struggling to decide who to pick. She is not financially independent. I live with my parents to help them out in the current economy. As for my financial situation I'm individually very stable but due to the economy my parents are not and I decided to help out by moving in with them temporarily. Believe me I never thought I would like anyone double my age but it sort of just happened. We basically like the same things, movies, books, music, you name it. I've never had so much in common with anyone which would explain much of my attraction towards her. I've never been much of a romantic but then again I never thought I'd meet a person like her. To be completely honest, if things turned out my way I'd marry her ASAP. I couldn't care less about our age difference. I wish I can talk to her about our situation but I wouldn't know where to start. I just want to know how things are with her. I know we're close but this is something that will effect our beautiful friendship and possibly a future romantic relationship, if any. I know our mutual friend told me that she's in love with me but I'd rather hear it from her own mouth and if there's a chance it could work out or if I should just move on with my life."

How to help a woman decide which man to choose?

This is what I would suggest.

1. First, either through your mutual friend or directly, tell her exactly how you feel. Do not fear anything. Be honest. And be prepared for the consequences like a brave man. If she is not in love with you, that is fine; at least you will know for sure. But since we know that she is, it will be good for her to know how you feel about her and that might help her decide easily who she wants to be with: her current boyfriend or you.
2. Secondly, if she chooses to be with you, then you both can talk it out and figure out a plan. I am hoping that the economy will not be bad forever and if she is a bit patient, you two can live together and be happy. I strongly believe that good lovers are so difficult to find and if one finds them, it is critical that all efforts be made to succeed. If you have found this woman, then go for it like a man.