My boyfriend is insecure, childish, and immature

Stacy writes to me, "Neither my boyfriend or I in our relationship for the sex alone but physically he is just amazing! And the connection we have while having sex is so much, it's like fire. He has been with so many girls that he feels empty he says (only sexually he's been with them). With me he says he finds peace. He wanted a serious relationship and told me he was in love with me after a week of dating. He says I'm the one he's been looking for. He says he's not used to criticism or challenge from women, which is what he likes about me and what he needs, but doesn't know how to handle it. He says strange things like "When I have sex with girls, I roll over and sleep, but with you I wanna hold you all night" and he does. And then he finds it strange, freaks out that he's fallen for me so hard and that scares him. He wanted to introduce me to his friends, wants to meet mine, he wants the real thing. Even spoken to me about kids in the first few weeks. What I find unattractive about him (at an emotional level) is that a man like him, so alpha, shouldn't be insecure and he is. He keeps asking me if I'm seeing someone else while with him! He wants to check my phone even though I'm spending all day with him. He tells me "No woman has ever talked back to me or walked out on me after a fight". Last Saturday I canceled on a movie date with him cause I was tired, and he took it personally. It's Thursday and hasn't called me since! A lot of childish things like this he does, that turn me off emotionally. And I guess it's over since he hasn't called. I don't want to call him cause I messaged him Saturday asking I would see him the following week, but no answer. So you see, I'm with a gorgeous guy, who should be strong and confident but isn't and I'm disappointed. What to do next?"

Dating a man with contradictions

Your boyfriend has a lot of baggage from previous relationships. The good news is that he seems to recognize that there is something more than sex that one should expect from a relationship. And since he has seen that it is possible in a relationship, he appreciates that and is obviously trying to forget the past and start a more conventional relationship with you.

We all have our little problems. Arrogance or inability to appreciate feedback or insecurities are problems that people have even if they are not alpha males. These problems can exist in any man. In other words, there is no correlation. My brother-in-law, a man in his late 50s, entrepreneur, politician, and now a high-ranking government official, is terrified of New York City and literally pees his pants if he sees a cop (a cop once pulled me over on the highway but it was he who almost had a heart attack; the cop simply said that I should learn to slow down as I approach a toll booth and let me go).

Based on all that you have told me about him, this man maybe a good long term partner because of his being attractive and good in bed, but women who are married to insecure men often write to me saying that they made a wrong decision. Insecure men often suspect their wives of cheating and always live in a world where they are victims and under attack. They are so paranoid that life can be hell with them.

If he does not call back, maybe it is time to just let the relationship die.

If he does call back, you can give yourself some time to see if he changes because insecure men do change when they have supportive partners.