My ex husband wants to stay in touch with me

Cindy writes, "My ex-husband just moved in the state that I now reside in. He lives 30 minutes away from me. It seems like he wants to stay in contact with me though we have no children together. I don't understand. He married the woman that he cheated on me with. Yet, he "finds" reasons to talk to me. Please help me understand why he is doing that."

Why would a married ex want to talk to his previous wife?

As you probably read in my blog earlier, I think it is a terrible idea to stay in touch with an ex unless there are kids (or the two partners are still single and decide to stay friends after a breakup over something fundamental to their relationship) involved and definitely a bad idea if the partner has remarried. It is fine to be civil and polite if you run into each other by accident or at a party but other than that it is simply more trouble than you want after a divorce.

There could be a few reasons why he wants to maintain a relationship with you (and of course, you can simply ask him what he wants from you and why does he want to stay in touch with you).

1. His current marriage is not working out. It happens to some men who leave their wives for a better woman and then realize that there is no perfect woman. Everyone has some good and bad qualities and then they miss their ex wives.
2. He wants to make you jealous for whatever he has now that he didn't when you two were together.
3. He feels guilty for what he did to you and hopes that by being friendly to you, he might improve his image in your mind.

My advice to you will be to politely tell him that you are simply not interested in meaningless contact with him. You are trying to move on and staying in touch with him is not helpful.