Divorce decisions can get very difficult if a child is involved and typically I encourage couples to work even harder to resolve their differences in case they have a young child together. That is what I told Paula to talk to her husband, but it seems that it did not work.

"I had a long conversation with my husband after which he confessed that he loves me and our child, and all he wants is our family. He promised he would do his best to change his character and attitude towards me and try to be a good husband. I do not know what to do and what to think. Now everything got even more complicated than it had been. If he loves me and keeps his promise then I cannot innitiate the divorce. But the fact is I do not live him and love another man. Should I try to forget the other man and restore the family relationship or should I do something else? My heart is with another man. My husband has mistreated me for so long that I do not wish to live with him at all. Every day with him inside the home is like a torture. And to be together with him for the sake of my son for at least ten years more - that scenario makes me feel depressed. Help me, please. What should I do? What should I think?" Paula asks.

I understand that it would be a waste of time (and your life) to be with a man that you don't love. Having said that, if couples stop trying their very best to make their marriages work, we would have a lot more relationships failing. Indeed, it is tempting to walk away and somehow start thinking that your next relationship will be problem-free, but that is essentially a myth. All relationships require enormous sacrifice and if you end it after you have done your best, you will feel much better about yourself. Plus, you will also learn something that you can use in your next relationship.

Let me propose something for your situation. Give yourself 90 days (or whatever time you think is good, though this is minimum in my experience with other people like you) and do your best to make yourself love your husband. If he tries as he has promised, you must too. Trust me, when someone loves you, it is easy to love him back - particularly because you have a child together. While you may have hated this man while he was abusing you, people change and you have to give them a chance.

If after that time you still find that it is simply not working, you can then move on. You will be wiser than before, you will know that you have given the relationship your best, and one day you can tell your son that you did all you could to make it work, but his father just did not want to do his part.

Related article: Child support issues after a divorce

In November 2004, Oprah did a show "Secret Sex in the Suburbs" in which a few couples agreed to be on the show and talk about their swinging lifestyle that involved swapping spouses. There were many surprises, of course. Unlike what most people might believe, these were in all other respect regular suburban couples that you wouldn't even notice otherwise. And naive that I was - many of them were not even gorgeous looking. There was a lot of discussion about it in America and as one can expect it is still a very controversial topic particularly in conservative America. No wonder, swingers keep it quiet.

James and his wife Nicole are in their late 40s and he says that they have a very good relationship. "We love each very much and are quite happy. The weird thing that we have been runing into at family events and parties with friends is that it seems that they are into swapping partners and come on to us without any encourgement from either one of us. It seems as if we don't start swinging with them, we may not be welcome any more. What should we do?"

There are three possibilities why this is happening:

1. They just find it difficult to believe that while it is their way of living and it is so good, why are you out of it. So they try to tempt you to join them.
2. Without realizing, you or your spouse may be sending a positive message to them leading to the confusion. You need to think critically what is it that you are doing wrong.
3. They think that since you know about their secret but are not part of their group, it will be difficult for them to keep it a secret and you might share this with others, causing them embarrassment. However, if you are part of the game, then you will stay quiet too.

So what can you do to stop this if that is what you want?

Just tell everyone one day that, while you have no objection to their following a swinging lifestyle and you enjoy their friendship and company, it is not for you and you are not interested in even trying it. Or just enjoy the attention that you both get when hanging out with other couples. No one can force you particularly they being so close to you but it will definitely spice up your relationship as a couple.

Related article: Having good couple friends is healthy for a relationship

Since Jennifer Aniston spoke to Vanity Fair last month, a lot has changed. She came across as someone fully rested and recharged when she appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show. In other words, as I keep saying, you must make a sincere effort to move on after a breakup or a divorce. From the interview, it was quite obvious that she has put the whole Brangelina deal behind her and she is now ready to date again. Aniston told Oprah, "...I'm not sitting somewhere dwelling on the past or obsessing about something in the future."

Update December 2006: Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn breakup

How did Jennifer Aniston deal with the pain of divorce?

1. Accept the reality. Divorce is painful. She said so in her previous interview.
2. Take your time to deal with the pain. The worst thing you can do after a breakup or a divorce is to sleep with the first person you come across or whoever is nicer to you. If you noticed, she has not been seen with a man yet.
3. Focus your energy somewhere and find a way to deal with your stress. For instance, she is already working on some exciting acting projects and used yoga to deal with the stress.

Recommended articles: How to find happiness after breakup?

While we are still trying to make sense what "fraud" did Kenny Chesney that Renee Zellweger has asked for an annulment of their marriage. But there is another Hollywood couple that has also split after just a little over of marital bliss. Tori Spelling and Charlie Shanian have decided to split as well.

In both cases we have been wondering what could have gone wrong in such a short period of time after weddings that remind one of fairytales. For instance, when the couple got married in Los Angeles, the cost for each guest at the wedding was a whopping $1,700. Nobody ever expected that the couple would hate each other so much in an year's time.

Why are marriages failing more often?

There is a fundamental change in our society. Economic motive for marriage has more or less disappeared. What that means is that no partner is willing to take any @#&$ at all in order for the marriage to work. And everyone knows that if you are not willing to make compromises and sacrifices, marriages will fall apart.

We don't think Hollywood couples marry and divorce merely for publicity. In fact, failing marriages are common across the board. The popularity of "Desperate Housewives" is clearly indicative of the fact that couples are unhappy in their marriages.

So what can you do to make your marriage work?

1. If you don't like to compromise, don't marry. If you do, sacrifice as much as you possibly can and insist that your partner does the same.
2. Don't expect that life will be different or better after marriage. On the other hand it will be more challenging (though it does not mean that there are no benefits of being married). So have realistic expectations and learn to live with those.
3. Seek help from a marriage counselor or therapist. Read books and watch videos on how to make your marriage stronger.

Recommended article: Planning before marriage

What could have gone so wrong in just four months that Renée Zellweger and Kenny Chesney have decided to end their marriage? Here at LuvCube we are horrified when we heard the news. It was somewhat understandable that the fairytale romance of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston ended - they were together for years and that can sometimes be a problem.

The only reason we can speculate is that since Zellweger married in a big hurry, the couple realized that the initial attraction was not deep enough to build a strong, long-term relationship. It is important to understand that love at first sight (something that happened to this couple when they met at a tsunami concert at which Chesney sang while Zellweger answered the phones), may not last too long if you are fundamentally two different people.

So what does it mean for you?

1. Be careful when you are your partner want to tie the knot rather quickly. It is always a good idea to give at least a year of solid dating time before making your mind. Even living together before marriage is not a bad idea.
2. Communicate with your partner. If either of you have the slightest doubt, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. It is very easy to like someone a lot but not enough to spend the rest of your life.
3. If it is not working, end it fast. We support Zellweger and Chesney's decision in that respect. The longer you drag the process, the more bitterness it generates. If you realize that you are not compatible, you can part ways and still be friends rather than hate each other's guts.

Recommended article: How to save your marriage?

Much more than men, women suspect cheating as soon as their partner does not give them his full attention. For instance, Cindy writes to us, "I feel like my boyfriend is cheating on me. He hardly tells me that he loves me anymore; doesn't even want to have sex with me and when I ask him to take a walk or do something together, it seems like it's a problem. The only time we spend together is when we do things with other people or when we sleep at night. Please help."

I think that all the indicators are that he is cheating but I would encourage you to not draw that conclusion yet till you have some evidence. Most people draw that conclusion right away but we have found in our experience that there are other things that can happen that could lead to this sort of behavior without adultery being an issue.

Here are some possibilities to consider. Is he depressed? Has he lost interest in you? Has something else happened that has made him angry towards you and he is just taking his anger out like this?

It is always good to start off with a nice little chat to find out why he is ignoring you and that you would like to work with him to resolve any issues so that you can have a normal relationship. You can emphasize that if there is something that you have done and it was not right, you are willing to apologize for it and rectify your mistakes. If he does not want to work with you and still behaves the same, you might want to find out if he is depressed or there is a problem in his life (most likely at work) that he has not shared with you.

At that point you may also want to find out if he is really cheating. There are very simple telltale signs of cheating and there are also other solutions available for tracking phone calls and internet activity if that is needed. If you have evidence of his cheating and he also does not want to make the relationship to work, you might have to end the relationship at that point.

Recommended article: Is online cheating adultery?

A lot of men have many misconceived ideas about what women want. Many men in macho cultures in Asia and Latin America think that women are some kind of hungry animals and it is there job to "satisfy" them. Other men have told us that if you provide for them, give them money to spend, and nice gifts from time to time, you have made them happy.

Nothing could be farther from the truth and these attitudes are prevalent mostly among macho men. In reality, women want things are that much less materialistic or physical. In a recent survey of married women by Family Circle, the top five sexiest things that a husband can do for them are:

1. Take care of me when I am sick
2. Tell me he loves me
3. Helps me clean the house
4. Cuddles with me
5. Say nice things about me in front of others

Are you surprised? Most men that we spoke to were. They had no idea that it was so "cheap" to make women feel sexy. No talk of money or gifts or even sex here.

So what can you do to be a great husband?

• Think of her as a friend - as someone equal. Forget the notion that you are some kind of superior creature sent on earth to protect her.
• Even though most men do not like to cuddle, do it. Eventually you will start liking it too.
• Learn to communicate. Men and women have different styles of communication and if you make an attempt to understand how women absorb information, you can say the things that you want to say but do not because you may not always know that you have to say them.

Recommended article: Men have to find out what women want?

Latonya in Atlanta writes, "I am a divorced, 31 year old with three children. I have currently been failing in my relationships. Recently I was involved with a 23 year old that I loved unconditionally. Unfortunately, he left me for another woman with 5 children and married her in less than 5 months. This episode has caused me to become even more bitter. I have truly given up on dating. I cannot and refuse to be hurt again, but I would love to be in a normal relationship. Please help."

I totally understand what you are going through. When you give your best to a relationship and then it does not come together, it is natural to feel frustrated and depressed. But the reality is that one or two failed relationships do not tell you much. Just because there are one or two jerks that you ran into, it does not mean that there are no good men left.

Additionally, being bitter or cynical does you no good because no man (and for that matter, anyone else too) would like you with that attitude. Most people will simply leave you alone and trying to get rid of you. So what I would suggest is that if you need more time to recover from the previous relationship, take some more time off in which you do not date, but that does not mean that you grieve. Being single can be fun for a while because you can just spoil yourself, flirt with anyone you like, and just do things that you really like to do without feeling sorry for yourself for being single.

Once you are fully rested and recharged, get back into the dating game as if you are starting to date for the very first time. That means no preconceived ideas and biases, because let me me tell you, we all can be wrong in our judgments. Give new men an opportunity to fall in love with you and you should give your best too. Life is about trying and success and failures are just part of the game. So learn from your failures and enjoy your successes, but never give up.

Recommended article: How to move on after breakup?

When it comes to men women relationships, it is absolutely correct to say that they are from two different planets. In other words, they don't always understand what the other wants because communication between a couple is a big challenge.

Let us take Kate's case. She likes a guy and has told him so. He has also said the same thing. "But, he ain't done anything about it," she says. "We hang around with the same group of friends and when I look at him, he always smiles. He texts me and phones me all the time but I want something more to happen. I don't think I can wait. Please help."

So here are the three possible scenarios and suggested approach.

1. He does not understand that you are interested in him romantically, though guys generally err on the other side. In any case, if he thinks that you are just a wonderful friend, then you have to send him more romantic signals so that he understands that you just don't want to be friends with him.
2. He is shy. It happens all the time. In that case, just take control of the situation (seduce him) and let him follow.
3. He is not single. He likes you as a great friend but is in a relationship. Are you sure that he is not in another relationship? If not, find out. And if he is not single, just have him as a friend. If he is, then take care of (1) and (2) above.

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According to a recent survey by Family Circle, just half of the married women in America describe themselves as "happy." So how do the rest 50% describe themselves. Take a look at the chart below:

In other words, while the number of desperate housewives is not as large as the television program of the same name might make you believe, but it is fairly obvious that some 50% of married women are not truly happy. As many as 20% are so stressed out that they have no time to take care of themselves. An additional 24% is either bored or is not getting enough attention from her husband.

What can men do to help?

1. Be a good husband by sharing everything - not just the great things in life but also the challenging ones, for instance, raising kids or housework.
2. Understand her needs. If she is bored or starved for intimacy, ask her what you can do to make it better.
3. Finally, communicate with her. Relationships end and divorces happen because couples failed to talk.

Recommended article: Husband as the best friend

Bodacious Boomers are hot among men

Why is Ashton Kutcher with Demi Moore - a woman 15 years his senior? Why did Prince Charles never love Princess Diana and cheated with Camilla Parker Bowles - eventually marrying her?

There is something about mature women that turns men on despite the fact that many men love younger women. And the media is paying attention to this trend too. The star of "The 40 year old virgin" Catherine Keener is 45. And so are some of the Desperate Housewives. How about Sharon Stone (47), Tilda Swinton (44), Frances Conroy (51), and Jessica Lange (56), Natasha Richardson (42), Connie Nielsen (40), Maggie Cheung (40), Joan Allen (49), Sandra Bullock (41), and Diane Lane (40)? One magazine even calls this the age of "Bodacious boomers." In other words, Hollywood is now catching up with what is already a major trend - forget the age gap.

So what is the answer? Have you read the book "Until I Find You?" The author John Irving was on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and he said that he lost his virginity at the age of 11 to an older woman. While he said that he made love to women of his own age later on but found that it was much better with an older woman.

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