What can you do to keep the passion alive?
- Just change with time. As one of our readers commented, if you eat chicken sandwich every day for one year, you will eventually get tired of it. Don't let that happen to you. So if your partner always sees something new about you, he or she will always be intrigued and interested.
- Take a break from each other. My wife and I take two weeks off (from each other) around our anniversary. We do our own little things, be it a business trip, or just visiting our families. And then when we meet - mostly at a vacation spot for couples, we literally start like a new couple each year. Might sound funny and difficult to do, but trust me, it can work for anyone. All you need to do is to have an open mind and just do it.
- Keep the distance from your partner. A lot of couples believe that a great indicator of the strength of their relationship is that they are always together and doing the same things. That is a recipe for disaster. Have a life beyond that with your partner. Develop your hobbies. Go do things alone or with your friends and family members. That way you will have so much to tell and ask your partner.
Recommended article: Libido differences among a couple
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Divorce is an extremely sad event in the life of a person. In a perfect world, no one would get a divorce, but in reality, more than half of marriages in America result in a divorce. So the chances are pretty high that you will go through one too.
But how you handle divorce is equally important. It is extremely rare that divorce happens with a smile on the faces of both partners. Generally, it is a painful process that involves bitterness, anger, and frustration.
So how do some people who do a good job handling a divorce do it. Kenny Chesney is one example. Chesney and Renee Zellweger annuled their marriage a few months after their fairytale wedding but no badmouthing by anyone. He actually says in an interview that he has no regrets about his marriage to Zellweger because it taught him a lesson about love. "She and I fell in love like a couple of schoolkids... I'm glad to know that that can happen. That that exists. And we really still care about each other a lot," said Chesney.
What about another high-profile divorce recently? Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Since the split, the two have spoken separately to GQ, Vanity Fair, and Oprah, but no bad words from either. In fact, Aniston recently admitted on "Good Morning America" that she still talks to Pitt. "...People want it to be this war and this mean, terrible, shallow thing that's just playing like some soap opera or story line, and it's just not," she said. She also told Diane Sawyer that she's not angry at her ex-husband.
In other words, anger and bitterness do no good despite what your partner may have done. Such negative feelings will also attach a lot of baggage to you and may create a problem for you in finding another relationship or having a happy one.
Related article: Dating for divorced folks
Monday, November 07, 2005
Matt in Vancouver asks, "I really like or even love this girl in one of my classes. During class it is impossible for us to talk, but on the way out, we at least once a week take the same bus home, and usually have a nice conversation. She is like my dream girl (or at least it is what I think). She is beautiful, smart, and we even share some friends. I really want to ask her out, but I don't know if she is diggin me or not. The way I see it she might because I sense it. She really likes talking to me and smiles a lot. Can you please give me some advice on how I can find out if she likes me, what to say etc. I thought of using pheremones, but really I want to get her with myself without using any sorts of tricks."
Looks as if she is really interested in you from what you tell me. It is also likely that she is waiting to be asked out and you have just been too shy so far to make that move. What I would advise is that you suggest something non-romantic to do together to really make sure that you are not wrong in your judgment. For instance, an offer to study together, do a project together, or grab a cup of coffee after the bus ride (start a good conversation on the bus and suggest that you would really like to carry on the conversation - what do you say if we grab a cup of coffee?).
If she agrees, it is a fair indicator of the fact that she wants to spend time with you and is not being merely polite because you are on the same bus. Once you do that, hopefully you will get
closer to each other and at that point it will be appropriate to ask her out on a date.
And forget about the pheromones at this point. Pheromones work when you do not know the person and try to attract someone with the right chemistry to you in a place where it will be just the two of you. They also work when you are in the bedroom. With this woman, you have already gone this far. All you need right now is to approach her as a gentleman would and hopefully you will find love.
Related article: How to attract a woman that you like?