Relationship with miltary men/women is not easy. You never know when they may have to answer the call of duty. Of course, all men and women who love these people need to be supported, but sometimes a breakup makes sense so that others can move on with their lives.

Dave and Jenna are such a couple who decided to take a break from their relationship so that he could go and serve his country. They have been together for four years and he has a commitment to serve in the armed forces for four years. "While I am doubtful it will work out when I am back, but Jenna is convinced we will be back together. She has made it clear that while we are apart we will continue dating but will make no commitments. What are some suggestions you would offer to help ease the heartbreak while I'm off bettering myself and our country?" he asks.

You both deserve my congratulations for taking such a mature attitude towards your relationship. As you both understand, four years is a very long time and a lot can change. What I do not like about your agreement is that you will make no commitments to others who you will be dating. Isn't it unfair to them that you will be "using" them in some way?

If you date, then be ready to commit

If you two are so committed to each other that you will not commit to anyone else, then you should not breakup and have a long-distance relationship. On the other hand, if you wish to date other people, you should date as if this relationship is over. And at the end of four years, when you return, if both of you are still single and interested in purusing a relationship, then you should talk about it.

However, if you still want to pursue the agreement that you both have, then in all fairness to the people you may be dating, you should be up front about your situation. Tell them that you are clearly not looking for a serious relationship, just casually dating without commitment, because you do have someone special in your life.

Also, insofar as both of you are concerned, make sure that you both stay in touch through email, letters, phone, etc. on a regular basis to the extent possible.

There is no doubt that jealousy is a very negative emotion, but can this negativism be turned into something so positive that it becomes a powerful force of change?

Yes, it can be, so says Dr. Deborah Anapol, author of The Seven Natural Laws of Love. "What if rather than being something to be avoided, jealousy is to be welcomed as a way to illuminate the subtle ways our ego insinuates itself into our spiritual endeavors, revealing powerful opportunities for personal evolution?" she asks in her book "Compersion (a made up word which means the opposite of jealousy): Using Jealousy as a Path to Unconditional Love."

Dr. Anapol explains, "The book grew out of my own experiences and those of many clients and workshop participants over the years processing their jealousy. It consists of a collection of one-page meditations. These meditations are intended to challenge and restructure common beliefs about the nature of love and relationship. This process of self-examination turns up whatever may be in the way of true unconditional love. The lesson is to let jealousy be your teacher."

A company called, Dial-a-Phone, has made some interesting finding in its research on use of cell phones and relationships. Here are some of their shocking results:

• One out of three men and almost half of women would consider answering their phone during sex
• One out of four women would rather give up making love than their mobile phone for a month
• 4 in 5 people have used their picture phones to take intimate pictures of their partners (not recommended unless you are married - the next thing you know you breakup and the pictures are all over the Internet)! A similar percentage of people also answer their mobile phones during a first date
• One of out of ten breakups is by text message. Britney Spears divorced Keven Federline by text message

While a mobile phone is a must-have these days despite the ongoing controversy about their correlation to cancer, there are situations when you shouldn't use them. I can't stop laughing when people are sitting in a restaurant with one of those bluetooth headsets on. Unless you have a very important job (if you are a doctor or a cop on your meal break, for example) or if you are parent (who must answer the phone from a child or babysitter), you look like an idiot otherwise, especially if all you get are phone calls from your friends asking you about your day.

Dial-a-Phone relationship expert Flic Everett says, "There's a time and a place for mobile phones! Turning them off occasionally or even switching them to silent will make your loved-one feel as though they have your attention. Never ever answer your phone during sex. People will leave a message or call back later if it's urgent."

Flic comments: "Ending a relationship with a cold-hearted text is rude - it's the modern day equivalent of being finished by post-it note. However, some people may prefer to receive the news this way rather than being humiliated in person - I think before you press 'send' you need to consider how long you've been in the relationship and do you owe it to them to give a proper explanation."

Flic also suggests that couples use their mobile phones not to pay attention to others, but to themselves. For instance, Flic suggests that you take a suggestive photo during the day and email it to your lover - a great way to start the foreplay a little early.

I have written earlier about how we can use pheromones to influence behavior of others - particularly with the intention to make them like us. Naturally, apart from pheromones, there are other alternatives for women if they suffer from low libido. New research in the emerging science of aromachology has shown that a woman's sense of smell is the gateway to increased desire. The Scentuelle patch consists of a complex combination of scent molecules that stimulate the libido by targeting the brain's smell receptors. It reproduces the effect of the body's 'feel good' hormone, dopamine, which controls desire.

"Smell has been the most enigmatic and least understood of all our senses but its importance to our quality of life is incalculable," explains Dr. George Dodd, a biochemist and the head researcher on the Scentuelle development team. A patch for men, using the same technology, is also available.

Simply place the small, transparent patch in a discreet place, such as the inside of the wrist, and smell it regularly throughout the day. Scentuelle begins to work from the first sniff and its effect is cumulative, building to an optimum level after three weeks. Since the patch is non transdermal, nothing enters the bloodstream so there are no side effects. A doctor's prescription is also not required.

So if you think that your partner has lost interest in you, it is something to try.

It is not just Bruce Willis and Demi Moore who get it right - be able to look into each others eyes and smile even after a divorce or breakup. Others can do it too. It just requires more class.

I have been helping Melissa who broke up with her girlfriend after she complained about her not being warm about the relationship. They broke up and Melissa has decided to change certain things about herself. She wrote her ex a polite letter and thought that was it.

But no. She actually got a call from her ex. "My ex and I hung out (Revive relationship with an ex) all weekend and as it turns out we make much better friends than girlfriends. It was really wonderful to be able to talk, hug, and laugh together. We still love each other, just in a more healthy way now. It has been difficult for us to get to this point, and we have both made mistakes, but we have honestly forgiven each other without holding any resentment. I am having more fun being single than I ever have when I’m in a relationship. I lose all the good parts of myself when I start seriously dating someone. I don’t want that to happen again. There are things I need to change about myself before I will be ready to be with someone again. I know I need to love myself or at least accept myself, before anyone else can really truly love me."

What a great attitude! To have a more "mature" after-breakup relationship with your ex. I don't like those breakups when you "hate" the other person and really feel uncomfortable when you run into each other. I often wonder how people who were (supposedly) in love at one time hate each other so much later.

While the current hot topic is younger men dating older women, the trend of older men in relationships with much younger women is not over. However, we have been surprised by one of our reader's story. She writes, "I am 31, and my significant other just turned 72. We have a great relationship. Most of the people in our lives, his 3 daughters, (his youngest is 9 years older than me), and my 3 children (12, 7, and 4) are all fine with our relationship. Of course, in the begining, there were questions from everyone. But now, there are only a couple people in our lives - my dad and step-mom, and his 24 year old grandson that has a problem. I was married before, he is widowed. We care about each other and we support each other, take care of ourselves and each other, and we both learn a lot from each other. I never imagined I would ever meet someone this special. By the way, he is not particularly wealthy, so I can't be accused of being a gold-digger. The hardest part is being in public. People think he is my grandfather, and when they find out our relationship are pretty obviously taken back. It is hard to meet others that can relate, and it is hard to know how to respond to confrontation. Any advice?"

Well, in over five years that we have operated LuvCube talking about such relationships, you are probably the couple with the biggest age gap. In any case, the most high profile case is that of Anna Nicole Smith and her husband J. Howard Marshall II since they had an age gap of 63 years. While she always claimed that he was the love of her life, no one believed her and called her a gold-digger.

While people are more accepting, as you have found out, your case is an exception. In other words, what it means is that you will have to live with this the rest of your life and learn to deal with it. Let me give you an example. My wife does not use my last name. So it is not uncommon for people to address us by each other's last names depending who they know. So the phone company (phone is in her name) always addresses me using her last name. What can we do? There is nothing offensive about it but it is awkward at times for me to be called at times with a last name that I love but is not mine.

How to deal with the situation?

This is what I would suggest. In situations where it is only temporary (e.g. when you check into a hotel and the clerk does not realize that he is your boyfriend), there is no reason to correct or to engage in a conversation trying to clarify it. You will only be making your life difficult. On the other hand, for people that must understand - family members, friends, etc. - you must politely and without embarassment - correct them. There is no reason to give long explanations. We all have a right to fall in love with anyone we choose to and others should respect that.

The sad reality of the world is that people just expect things to be a certain way. Men will only marry women. Children will only be born to heterosexual couples. People will only marry others like them. Remember not too long ago it was a scandal to marry someone of another race.

I would say that just because of the public reaction you should not stop living your life. Live your life as if his age is not an issue. Eventually people will see the beauty of it all and get used to it. Some idiots, though, never will. Don't worry about the idiots.

Todd writes, "I met my old flame recently by chance. 25 years ago we were in deep love but things did not work out for us. She is married with children and so am I. She tells me to continue being a good husband and father, while I want to revive our old romance. What should I do? Should I go back to my ex?"

It seems that while you may be interested in reviving the relationship (maybe because you are not happy in your current one), she is not. Therefore, it will be a waste of your time to puruse it with her. On the contrary, she might even be offended, and, if you had any hope of having her as a family friend, that maybe gone too. I would say, why don't you maintain a friendship with her so that you can occasionally entertain as a family guest. Introduce her to your family as an old friend (from school, college, whatever your story is) and keep it a platonic relationship. Relationship with an old flame is tricky. Your highschool sweetheart may not turn out to be the same person that you were crazy about.

Angie, a 33-year old mother of four, is dating a 21-year old man for about two years. "I have always been attracted to younger men. My current boyfriend is very compassionate, thoughtful, financially supportative, and he always goes the extra mile to prove that he is really into me. I guess I am in such denial. My girlfriend always puta it as I am too desperate. Is this really being desperate, if the man comes on to me. I have always asked him, Why doesn't he find someone his own age. His answer is always the same, "They are all full of games." I guess to sum it all up, I am very much scared that eventually, he may leave for someone his own age. Do you think, a woman of my age can really live life fully with a 21 year old man?" she asks.

Your girlfriend is so wrong. Sometimes things just happen and age ceases to be an issue. That is what happened to Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher and at least for now, they seem to have the perfect relationship.

I think what this young man sees in a mature woman like you is stability, maturity, and as someone with no time for BS. As you can imagine, many 21-year old women are more interested in casual relationships and that always creates a lot of drama - many men find that exhausting.

Based on dozens of emails I get each week from women like you, I see no reason why you guys couldn't have a great relationship, even marriage. Of course, he will not have the maturity of a 33-year old but that is where you come in. In that sense, you will complement each other, if you value his youth and he appreciates your wisdom.

I also don't buy the argument that when you are "old" he will leave you. Is there a guarantee that a man of your age won't leave you when you are "old?" No one has seen the future and we can't live our lives today based on what could go wrong in the future.

So in my opinion, enjoy the beautiful relationship and just don't pay attention to the age. Maybe it is a cliche, but the reality is that age is just a number.

29 year old woman dating 22 year old man

Haylie is a 29-year old dating a 22-year old salsa dancer. "He's what I call hot caramel, great body, great eyes, and personality. Never is mean nor rude to me, and always very dynamic. He has introduced me to his friends and has told my age (which I don't usually tell). He was in a 4-year relationship when I met him, broke up, and when I cut him off, he got together with his ex, but broke up after I contacted him again. I am not sure what it is he wants from me; he has said he is going with the flow. I am womanly looking and do not dress like a teenager. I do know he feels a woman should look like a woman and be not too muscular. I do feel younger and inspired to go after my dreams as I am still in university at night while working full-time. Should I bother seeing him or stop? I don't really trust him. We've been seeing each other for two months. We are not having sex but might soon after some conversations recently. What to do? Please help."

First of all, you should get this idea out of your head that you are in any way "old" or that he is in any way "too young." Indeed you guys are 7 years apart but 29 is still such a young age. From a man's point of view, a 29-year old woman is "young." Trust me, I hear from 29 year old men dating 43-year old women and they think that those women are "young." In think our concept of age is rapidly evolving.

So I would suggest that if you like him too, then go with the flow. Treat him like you will treat any other man regardless of his age. And if he still treats you right and you want to be with him, then, consider a relationship.