Nicki has recently met a much younger man and their relationship has been going fairly well despite the fact she is sometimes concerned that he shows college-student mentality towards the relationship. He has, however, promised to do his best to make things work. "My main issue now is to get him to do certain things while intimate. I think he does not appear to have as much bedroom experience as I do and I am willing to teach him. Should I wait till we are a serious couple to demand things as far as physical intimacy is concerned or should I try to give hints for now? I think I did give a little hint the other day but there is something very specific that I like. I know some men are not into it or can't even think of doing it, so I am somewhat afraid to say it so openly. What do you think?" she asks.

First of all, never assume anything. In other words, you never know until you find out - and just because I have never done something it does not mean that I will never do it. Maybe I never got the chance and that is why I may not get a hint or may not suggest it myself or even show my reluctance doing it the very first time.

Secondly, the best way to do it is to suggest it as something fun to do rather than saying that you love it, you have always done it, and if he doesn't do it, he is an idiot. For example, if you could show him a film (What about Femme de Chambre du Titanic) or a photo (even better if you do that during a romantic getaway) and then casually mention - "Oh, that sounds like so much fun; I would love to try that with you" - and see what happens. Most men are pretty adventurous; trust me.

I think, therefore, you better give hints right now. Why? If he does not pay attention or is unable to make progress as you wish, well, it will give you something to think about - do you still want to be with him long term?

Date within your comfort zone

Like many people, it is hard for me to just walk into a bar and start talking to perfect strangers. Even in an online chat room, I am not so comfortable. I do not consider myself shy and love to socialize, but like many people, just don't have the skills of a used car salesman to just talking to anyone and make a sales pitch. For me the best opportunity is when I meet people at a party when someone makes the introductions - I can very comfortably take it from there.

For people like that, there is now an option, started by Christa Thomas. Her company creates environments that encourage introductions and interaction. Events planned include "Cocktails", "Bring your Buddy" Mixers, "Trivia/Game Night", "Rotating Dinner Events", "Adventure Bound", and the 3-minute "Taste and Date" appetizer dating parties. These speed dating events include 4-5 tasting portions of the venue's most popular menu items and discounted drink specials.

In other words, these are parties - that I love to go to. And if I end up meeting because we both like mojitos or fondue, we will take it from there. I guess the message here is that you must operate in your own comfort zone - that is when you put up your best face forward and act like a winner.