Mark writes, "I have a friend that is not so close to me but we do hang out once in a while. I like his wife and I don't know how to approach her. The only signal she gives me is whenever she looks at me she looks straight into my eyes when her husband is not looking. What should I do and how should I approach this married woman? Sometimes she gives me a cute little smile. I don't know if she is also interested in me."

I see a few problems here. First of all you are not close to your friend. If you like his wife, you better get really close to your friend. Hang out with him more often and try to find common areas for you to strengthen your friendship.

I think the more time you spend with both of them the more the chance that you will be considered a friend and will allow you to spend more time with her assessing her situation. Eventually I would like you to get to the point that you can just ask his wife to do something with you together. For example, if she is good in accounting you can ask her to help you with your taxes. Or if you are going to find a gift for your sister you can ask her to go along with you help you pick the right dress or jewelry.

You will have to spend a few months building trust with both her and her husband. Just treat them both as merely good friends and completely put aside your sexual attraction towards her for a few months (not only you might lose your friend, things could tun ugly for you if this man is of violent nature). You shouldn't tell her anything till you are 100% confident that she is interested in you and you will find that out from her conversations over time. Women are pretty good at making their intentions known.

Cynthia writes, "I started hooking up with a younger guy (who pursued me) who has a girlfriend. For me it is just fun, but seems from little comments, that he seems to have a problem with the age gap and situation. I broke it off because I cannot have fun with someone who is uncomfortable. My friend thinks he is really open. How can I tell what the real problem is?"

The best way to do it is to find out from him.

If he pursued you despite his not being single, he definitely has some has interest in you, and the age is probably not a major issue. We all have some level of discomfort in every dating situation, whether it is the age, race, ethnicity, education level, distance from the town, etc., and if the person is otherwise good, we all make compromises.

So go with an open mind and hint to him that you are interested in exploring a relationship with him. If you find out through his behavior and conversation that he is still biased about your age, time to say goodbye.

But you might very well find out that after he learns more about you, he might feel more comfortable with the idea of dating someone older than him.

While I enjoy receiving emails from everyone (you don't need a reason to write to me; it is always nice to hear from you even if you just want to say hello), but it is awesome when I get emails from people in happy relationships.

Carla, a 40-year old woman writes, "I am dating a 56 year old man whom I love with all my heart. When I met him at a work party, I never anticipated we would date, but I am very glad we did. Since we are both older, I think our respective ages are less problematic than they could be if either of us had less life experience under our belts. The chivalry and respect and the desire for open and honest communication you get from an older man make the relationship so rewarding and enriching. The one hurdle we face is his perception that he is a 'dirty old man' because he is dating someone 16 years his junior, and my frustration that he sometimes thinks this way! On the whole we make a good team and complement each others strengths and weaknesses and all I can say is that age, for us, is just a number. I have waited half a lifetime to meet him and now I have found the perfect man for me. I want to spend the remainder of my lifetime with him."

Michelle writes, "The father of my unborn child and soon-to-be-husband thinks its okay to kiss other close female friends on the lips in my presence and makes statements like "my wife, she won't get jealous." At times it hurts me and he accuses me of being paranoid and jealous of him and his close friends. Don't I have enough reason to be? After all actions are stronger than words. Please advise me."

I think if this man has been kissing these women like that for a while and was the norm in his group of friends, it may not be a big deal in the sense that he is just continuing with that behavior. And maybe you should think again if you want to make a big deal about it and create friction in your relationship.

Having said that, he must stop doing it if you protest. As his fiancee you have a right to demand that he show physical intimacy towards you and you alone..

What you have to find out is why is he doing this? Is it some kind of group behavior? Is he also sexually involved with them? Are these women single? If not, do their partners not object?

Personally, if it is limited to a quick peck on the lips and there is nothing hanky-panky going on behind your back, you can ask him to stop but don't put your relationship on the line for this. These friends will probably get married and move on. However, if you think that he does not take you seriously as a future wife and wants to continue with his single lifestyle, it might be time to give him a serious warning.

Linda writes, "I am a young looking 46 year old woman, dating a 30 years old guy. I have 3 kids, he has one, he can not handle our age difference. He will not be seen in public with me as he says people look at us. We have a very good sex life, we get along most days, we make each other laugh, he now wants the relationship over. We still live together, until I find another house. I am so heartbroken. I love him so much. Please help."

I am sorry to hear that, and unless there is some other reason that he is breaking up (affair, for example) with you and using the age gap as an excuse, there is hope. This is why and this is how you should speak to your stupid boyfriend.

I have dated really fat women (I am incredibly skinny) and women of other races and while they were my age, people have looked at us, even exchanged meaningful glances with their companions. Some even hinted about the odd choice of women that I made. And occasionally they still do despite my being in a perfect marriage with a woman of another race.

People love to talk, and they will, no matter what. If they can't find anything else they will talk about the hideous red jacket a woman wore or the shoes that a man wore or what the kids did or the lousy kitchen the couple has, and on and on.....

Those who live their life to satisfy others are never happy because people will always figure out to express their opinions about them, particularly about successful people. We live in a world of people with opinions and smart people know how to ignore it in order to sleep better at night.

Your boyfriend has to start being a man and appreciate that he is ending a beautiful relationship (which are nearly impossible to find these days based on dozens of emails I get each day) all because some jerks tell him that he is dating a woman older than him. Tell him to have some self respect for himself and you and not be such a sissy. I mean will he shave his head off tomorrow if people start talking about his awful hairstyle or quit his job if people start making fun of the company he works for? Or throw his kid out of the house because some other mom thinks that his kid is an idiot?

So, talk to him and tell him that there are more important issues at stake for him than merely ending a relationship with a woman just because she is a little older. He has to learn to take ownership of his choices and put his happiness above that of others (yes, people talk because that adds spice to their lives).

And just between you and I, if this man pays no attention to this logic, guess what? He is not the man for you. A man who cannot take on the society to fight for his choices and to protect the love of his life, I mean, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this man no matter how good he is in bed?

Y need a man who respects you and respects his choices, and then has the courage to defend him and his family against the world. If he is now proving that others opinions are more important than his and yours, I would say, find one of those efficiency apartments and move out now.

As anyone knows, eHarmony has more narrowly focused on marriage-focused dating. It is not meant for people looking for casual dating or intimate encounters as True.com or Lavalife are.

And while there is wide acceptance of gays and gay marriage is already legal in Massachusetts and Connecticut, this dating website has not allowed gays to join. I suspect that the main reason is its ties to Christian extremist groups that thrive on homophobia.

Now it looks like the company is abandoning its Christian roots (though it had to do so as part of a legal settlement in which the company was represented with a right wing lawyer Ted Olson) and has a gay dating website called Compatible Partners.

While the company insists that their sophisticated matching software has not been tested on gay and lesbian couples but it will still let them use it. I personally see no difference between heterosexual and homosexual couples and expect that they should be able to find a match.

Kavita, an Indian woman, writes, "I am unmarried,and I masturbate once or twice a week. Will this affect my health? Will it create any problem in my married life? Is it true that this habit the reason behind irregular menstrual periods, as my periods are not regular?"

There are a lot of myths out there and this is one of them that somehow pleasuring yourself is bad for health. On the contrary, it is a very healthy practice for both men and women.

So in response to your question, pleasing yourself does not affect your health in any negative way. And the effect it does have is mostly good because it is a great way to release sexual tension, and if you orgasm, you will generally see a release of healthy hormones inside your body, helping you sleep better and feeling good later.

Masturbation also helps when you actually have sex because you are much more aware of your body and what pleases you, particularly what parts of your body are sensitive. That way you can not only tell your partner what to do but also move your body in a way that you can get maximum pleasure.

There is no relationship between masturbation and irregular periods. The best thing to do for irregular periods is to consult with your gynecologist. Irregular periods can be due to many other health and hormonal factors.

Tips to do it right

The final piece of advice I have is about personal hygiene during and after you pleasure yourself. If you are going to insert your fingers inside your private parts, please wash thoroughly with soap before and after.

Also as soon as convenient, wash your private area thoroughly after you are done. If you insert anything other than your fingers, please make sure that it is thoroughly clean as well. If in doubt, it is best to cover it with a clean, unused condom each time you use it.

Brittany writes, "I am attracted to the best friend of my father. I'm not sure that he has been looking at me, but I think my dad warned him because he knows what he's like. He's overprotective. In fact, he never looks at me, even when it wouldn't be inappropriate for him to do so. However, he did smile at me when my dad was nagging me yesterday, as if to say 'what's he like' or something. He also spoke, briefly, directly to me for a change. I know he was probably just being friendly, but it's a start. So, bearing in mind my dad's always around and I am a shy, modest person, how can I get his attention and eventually attract him? I am 21."

It is natural to get attracted to a "fatherly" figure. Daughters always have a special connection to their dads and obviously they are attracted to the friends of their dads.

And it appears to me that this man has been looking at you in a certain way and that is why your dad has been warning him. It also means that if something were to happen between the two of you, it would not make your father happy. And it might even destroy the relationship with his best friend. Do you think it is worth this risk?

If it is, then of course, it is possible for you and him to have a secret relationship. Obviously you will need to hint to him that you are also interested and he can trust you. I think once he is assured of confidentiality and interest, it should be pretty easy from there.

I think it is always a good idea to have a modest goal first. And since you are shy, it is best to first start talking to him more often. That will give both of you a higher level of comfort to at least smile at each other more often and even start flirting. I think you can start off by asking him more questions about something that could be of interest to him and to you, at least to some extent. It could be something that he is good at, or might love to talk about, say sports or gardening or cooking.

It also does not hurt to show interest in something that you may want to learn from him. Just as an example, let us say he is really good at making an egg sandwich -- it is something that you can ask him to teach. It is something that will not involve any sexual tension and your dad might want to share the sandwich too.

My goal is for him to see that you like to be around him and then he can simply make other things happen from there. Most men his age what to do once a girl has shown her intentions.

Jake writes, "I have recently been seeing this woman that is eleven years older than me, and we are both very much into each other. The only problem is that she is having issues with the fact that I am so much younger. I am so crazy about this woman and I want to be able to make this work for the two of us. She says that if I was only a few years older she wouldn't hesitate. So what I want to know is how do I make her more comfortable with the fact that I am so much younger, and make her realize how age doesn't matter when you have the connection we have?"

I think she is simply choosing to look at the more traditional age patterns to come up with her rationale for ending this relationship. So first thing that you want to make sure is that there are no other reasons that she would want to breakup and is merely using the age difference as an excuse.

Now also remember that most people have a right to end a relationship whenever they wish but I don't approve of it in cases where people already have inbuilt biases like "I will not date a younger man." I mean why would she date you then in the first place?

Still, there is hope. I have never lost faith in the power of persuasion when it comes to women. I am sure you had to do some of it all along and if you continue with it with this issue, trust me, chances are that she will realize what a small detail it is in the big scheme of things when you are really a perfect couple otherwise.

Erica, yet another woman in a sexless marriage, writes, "My husband has not made love to me in years. He has erectile dysfunction. I've tried to talk to him about it and get some help. The doctor gave him a device to use. His ego won't let him use it, I guess. So I have been very hot for a good while. Now I have been thinking about getting with someone else. I want to stay with my husband and I love him but I feel things and have needs. What is your thought?"

I have seen this problem in hundreds of emails that I have received from women. Men who simply refuse to accept that a health problem can be corrected and no one would doubt their manhood just because they need and use medical help.

I totally understand how you feel, and in my opinion, you have a right to satisfy your needs. Feeling sexual desire is as normal as the way you feel hungry or thirsty or tired.

There are two ways to go about it. Talk to your husband and agree on an arrangement (I doubt if this is possible in your case) in which you can have sex with someone else and he should not ask any questions. You will have a right to privacy about this issue.

A more practical solution for your specific situation is to just keep it a secret. The key is to be upfront about this to the man (or men) that you might have as your lovers and also seek his cooperation so that he does not blackmail you, and helps you keep it a secret. Online dating websites are best for this.

A sexless marriage can be a disaster and can completely the shatter the self confidence of a woman. But it does not mean that a woman cannot have a normal relationship with another man.

Here is an email from a woman who was previously in a dysfunctional marriage without any emotional or physical intimacy.

She writes, "I am absolutely attracted to men, I DO have sexual thoughts (a lot lately). Now Yes again I do have sex. I currently have a boyfriend and we've been having sex since last 8 months and all I can say is WOW!!!!! I honestly don't understand how I could go from severely disliking sex to LOVING it totally. Honestly my boyfriend is the one who I used to call a nympho but he calls me that now. I mean its not crazy or anything; it's just great sex I can't seem to get enough of. Honestly we do it every single day. We usually never only do it once, it's always twice or more. We have on many occasions had sex 5 times in a day. Anyway I just don't understand the drastic change."

Emily writes, "I had been married for 10 years but I am getting divorced as we speak. I was in a sexless marriage. For the past few years our sex life just didn't exist. I mean it would literally be 4-6 weeks in between times we'd have sex. Even then I would try to put it off. I don't know what happened. When we first got together/married we were having sex all the time. Just one day we were not anymore. Never even noticed that it happened. So I don't know what the problem or solution is but that's the just my sexless story."

I think you did the right thing but what I would like you to think about is what is it that was missing in your relationship -- obviously, as you can imagine, relationships do change over time and physical intimacy declines for most couples that have been together for years.

Are you attracted to other men? Do you have erotic thoughts? Do you feel like making love? Do you have desire for self-pleasure, and if so, do you please yourself with a toy or a massager?

Reduced libido, vaginal dryness, and inability to orgasm as we get older are common problems and in most cases they can be treated by a combination of therapy, medication, aids, and of course, with the right partner.

So I do not want to give up on sex or men but you have to work on it and everything will be normal again.

A lot of people ask me the secret to a great marriage. Well, there is always a humorous way to say things and I got these "great" tips in an email. While you may want to laugh, watch out for the serious message.

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Kentucky.
3. I take my wife everywhere....but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!' So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, 'In the lake.'
8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for the garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!'
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?' I said, 'Dust!'

Despite all the progress made, it appears that men and women do not have equal rights in a relationship.

I recently came across some hilarious pictures of how women are treated by their husbands in different cultures.

On this page, starting from the top, we have couples from Serbia, Poland, Ireland, Greece, UK, and USA.

According to a study by Massachusetts General Hospital, two out of five women have sexual problems (like lack of desire, arousal, and achieving orgasm) but are either not aware of them or are not bothered by them.

The problem is that men in these relationships are quite bothered by them and often resort to cheating. Obviously that causes major relationship problems and can even lead to a breakup or a divorce.

I have written extensively about this topic and wanted to point you to those articles so that you can deal with the issue.

• Intimacy for couples
• How often should I have sex
• Sex is a five course meal
• Problems with physical intimacy among couples
• How to satisfy a woman
• How to have great sex
  

Joseph writes, "I am badly hurt after my breakup with my GF and I need help. I thought she was the love of my life and I was dreaming of a beautiful destination wedding in Mexico and she dropped the bomb that she has found someone else. I am devastated."

I can understand how you are feeling right now, but trust me, you will get over it. We all do. Breakup, divorce or death of a partner are all terrible events but eventually we all move on and find love again.

You haven't told me much about what/how it all happened but here are some tips. Do not think much about her. If possible, take a vacation and go some place. Don't try to date right away either. It is nice to take a break from dating too for a few weeks.

Trust me, within a few weeks you will feel new again and can start over.

Stacy writes, "My fiance has put a tracking device in my car and a recording device in my home. He constantly accuses me of sneaking around when I don't tell him of my every move. He has recorded every number from my phone to his. He even smells my underwear. Is this normal behavior or does he need help?"

Your fiance is definitely a paranoid man and his behavior is not normal at all. If possible, he needs professional help immediately, and definitely before the wedding.

I am assuming, though, that you have no history of cheating that he is aware of. If that is the case, he is definitely a person who does not trust you and as you might know, trust is the foundation of any relationship. I am in a happy marriage and my wife and I have private email accounts and do not monitor each other's phone conversations. Obviously, we have a simple rule about telling each other when we will be back at home (so that if one can make sure that the other is well) but there is no need to report where we are at every point of time. We also have separate phones and pocket money. I have never abused that trust and I am confident that neither has she.

So my suggestion for you would to be ask him to get help and put your wedding plans on hold. He may turn out to be a crazy husband and will make your life hell for you.

Alice writes, "Please tell me where I can get help for my boyfriend. He does not believe he has a problem but he thinks I am supposed to only have him as a friend. He has been married before. He and I were dating while he was going through the divorce."

Based on what you are telling me it seems that he is suffering from "commitment phobia." It is a problem with many men these days, but particularly acute among divorced men. Obviously because they have been divorced they lose some faith in the institution of marriage, but I don't count it as a valid excuse. If a man does not want to commit and only wants to be friends, he should be upfront about it rather than mislead a woman.

I have written extensively on this topic. Try a search here for terms like "commitment phobia" and "commitment phobic" on the page below and read more about dozens of women who have written to me about this issue.

Obviously you can try talking to him and also see if you can go to relationship therapy with someone who works with married couples.

Natalie writes, "I am almost 31 and I like a guy who is 21. I worry if he is too young for me and if this kind of relationship is too strange or impossible. I don't know if will be a long lasting relationship, but I like him and I feel strong connection and good feelings near him. Should I date this man?"

Well, your situation does not surprise me at all because I have been hearing from women who are dating guys that are half their age. Yes, sometimes 25-30 years younger. So your situation is very normal these days. Maybe some people will make a face but that's about it.

So don't dwell on this too long; if you like him go for it and see what happens.

What gift should I give to my husband?

Alice asks, "What gift should I give to my husband?"

I could have given you a more detailed answer if you would tell me more about him, but in my opinion, give him something that he can use more often and that would remind him of you more frequently. For example, my wife gave me a watch and when I wear it everyday I think of her. If she had given me tools, they would stay in my garage mostly and I would use them only rarely.

For this reason, I recently gave an designer handbag to my wife and when she goes out of the hou