Janet writes, "I'm 24 years old and my husband and I have been married for 6 years; we have 3 children of ages 7, 6, and 1. He is in the military, therefore, he's gone a lot but he only goes on short missions. When he comes back he is full of desire and I can understand that since I am also waiting for him to come back and make love to me. The problem is that I am pretty satisfied in a day or two but he wants it non stop. With three kids and the same old routine it gets boring and predictable. So I want to bring some excitement and spark back to our sex life. What suggestion do you have?"

I totally understand it. If you eat pizza every day for 3 days you would even hate the word pretty soon. That is why it is important to add variety to sex in order to keep it interesting and something to look forward to it. Here is what I suggest:

1. Position: The same position only stimulates the same parts of the body but there are literally infinite possibilities for kissing or touching or penetration. Just by changing the position you will feel that sex is different each time.

2. Place: Yep, the bed is awesome but you will get tired of the same place very soon. I like to think that sex can be had almost anywhere (as long as you don't get into trouble for it). Just having it in the kitchen or dining room or bathroom or car or in the backyard can make it much more exciting and allows you to explore even more new positions.

3. Time: It may seem that sex before going to bed is the most natural thing to do but sex can be had any time. Actually, the best time for sex is in the morning when you are relaxed and full of energy. Similarly, having sex as soon as he comes home from work or at any other time that you can find, you will realize that it makes it a lot more fun. As you might have already discovered, you don't always need a full hour of sex to feel satisfied. Good sex, even if it lasts for 5 minutes, can be far more satisfying if it is something new. I love quickies.

4. Situation. For instance, if you wear the same tee shirt to bed every night, it would make it so boring. How about a little creativity there? Maybe mixing and matching some underwear and lingerie? Or can you try a scarf around your body to bed and let him open his gift? Or even make a costume? A naughty housewife or school girl or secretary? You get the idea.

I have never loved my husband and love someone else

Jessica writes, "Before I got married I had been secretly dating this married man and I loved him so much but unfortunately I got pregnant with my boyfriend's baby and I got married to my boyfriend but never loved him like this married man. Now I have two kids but I still love this married man very much and I wish we could continue our relationship because I really don't love my hubby. I need your advice."

How to approach a married ex-boyfriend?

You are in a very precarious situation. The first thing that you have to do is to have a heart-to-heart talk with this married boyfriend of yours to find out if he is willing to leave his wife for you. Many men in such situations are not willing to do so and that is why they have affairs rather than divorce their wives and marry another woman. I am not sure if he will be too thrilled with the idea of leaving his family and marry another woman with two kids. However, if he is ready to marry you, then you can consider a divorce and marry the love of your life. Yes, it will be painful for two people, but at least two of you will be happy.

I can totally understand why you don't love your husband and I am assuming that you have done your best to try to love him. If there is hope you can try to fall in love with your husband. If not, then think about how life will be for you as a single mother and if you can raise two kids on your own. If that is possible, it is a good idea to get a divorce so that you can then focus on finding another man that you can actually love. It is a waste of time to be in a marriage without love.

I would not recommend an extramarital affair with that married man at this point.