Collin writes, "I was separated from my wife three years ago and I met a wonderful woman whom I fell in love with. Unfortunately I was very confused at the time and I ended up sleeping with my wife while we met one night to see if we could save our marriage. To our shocks, she ended up becoming pregnant. We still ended up divorcing and I tried to work it out with the woman that I love. Now three years later my girlfriend has yet to forgive me and is quite cold at times. She tells me at least once a week that she does not want to see me any more yet she continues to call me. I have a son now and I talk to my ex about once a month to discuss financial issues and about our son but there is nothing going on between us. My girlfriend can't seem to understand why this has to be. We had an amazing day today and laughed throughout the day until tonight. She started an argument with me over why I had my ex's number in my cell phone book. I told her the truth and she told me once again that she does not want to see me again. How can I get over this woman and stop thinking about her? She's killing me inside, yet, I still want to see her. I don't understand why I want to see someone who treats me so terribly. Don't get me wrong; we have amazing times together but when she gets angry she is completely out of line and unwilling to communicate. How do I start over without being so miserable? I can't stand that; I think about her all the time. All I want is to be happy with someone who can appreciate me and someone who can forgive and understand that people make mistakes. I want to set a better example for my son with relationships but am unsure how to, being this miserable in my relationship. Please give me your opinion."

Divorce is tough on men too

Not many people recognize this but divorce is very hard on men. It breaks their heart and they are never the same again. Your divorce was definitely painful and it is not easy to be separated from your child. You are dealing with all these issues and that is why you feel a need to be with someone you can love and who loves you back with full appreciation of your past and current situation.

Why get rid of abusive women?

I think you are obsessed with this girlfriend not because she is an awesome woman (based on what you say she is not) but because she is the only woman in your life. I know it will be tough for you to hear this, but regardless of those few great moments that you have together, this woman is a waste of your time and is not the right woman for you in the long run. Maybe it was the bad start to the relationship, maybe something else went wrong, but it is clear that you need to get rid of her because by having her in your life and dealing with all the drama that she makes you go through, you are missing out on opportunities to meet a woman that will truly understand you and return your love for her with understanding and passion.

Please take some time off from this woman (if you cannot completely get rid of her right away), think through what you want out of your life (being single for a few months will allow you to focus on your priorities like your son and your own mental well being), and then start fresh with another woman who is willing to accept you for what you are.

Natalia writes, "I have been dating this guy for 9 years, and yes, we spoke about marriage. He comes up with every reason why he does not want to marry yet. He has been married twice already and he uses that one excuse a lot. I know for a fact that he is not true to me due to his ladies calling me on my cell. He always says they are only friends, my thing is if they are only friends why can't we sit down and have lunch together. Oh I will take care of that, that is his comeback. What should I think or do; he is such a liar and bad at it too."

Well, I am a bit surprised that you have chosen to be with a man for 9 years despite his unstoppable lies. I think you have simply allowed him to abuse and use you. At this time he just likes to be surrounded by several women at the same time so that he does not have to marry one and a be a responsible, loving husband.

He couldn't tell you clearer than this. He is not interested in marrying you and if you are still with you, it is because he thinks that you are stupid enough to believe that somehow things will change.

Please throw him out of your life; you have already wasted 9 years on him, do not waste a single moment on him from now on.

Tips for abused women with no money

Maggie is an abusive relationship that is wearing her down. Plus, she does not see a way to get out of it easily. "My boyfriend is physically and emotionally abusive to me. I do work but make so little money that I cannot live independently. He provides a roof over my head and reminds me that every day. I am so miserable and I have to leave, but how?" (Related: How to leave an abusive relationship)

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such pain. Here are a few options to explore:

1. Ask a friend to help you move out and take you in for a couple of months as you try to build your life again.
2. No matter how you do it, try to cut down your expenses and definitely save some money each month - take another job if you can. Try to become independent as soon as possible and then leave this man. (Related: Tips for abused women)
   
3. If none of this is possible, just look into your phone book under women's shelters and give them a call. There are many organizations that support women like you - they maybe able to provide housing for you for a while as you try to become independent.