A reader shares his thoughts on preference for women.

"I feel comfortable with Asian girls. Yet I can't feel anything with Western women. They are sexless to me. My last Western girlfriend was in 1988. A long time ago! Now, the mere sight of an Asian girl excites me. She excites me because of her physical features. They enchant me deeply and fascinate me beyond sensibility. As I told you the highest form of womanhood is to be a Japanese woman. There's a cultural "something" which sets them apart. I am very lucky to have met several dear and charming Japanese women over the Internet.

Back to my Western friend. We have tried to share a lot about women and men. She strongly believes that if there were a third sex, then men would be made redundant. But, she says, "Apart from men, what choice do we have??" So it's a desperate choice for her. Again I sense her bitterness. I was drinking wine with her the other night and her husband was out on yet another eternal boys' night. She desperately needs someone to touch her heart and rekindle the flame there. I feel so sorry that her life is so empty of powerful emotions. She seems so let down by life. I feel I let her down by not marrying her and that she then made a bad choice in men with him.

A woman on the Internet told me the "key to my success" with women. She said, "You go straight for the heart, don't you?" That men want women to be like themselves. But women are different emotional creatures. I never go for a woman physically. I've never been attracted to attractive women. But every woman has a very beautiful heart full of rich love and emotions. Women's hearts are so beautiful. I love them dearly. I feel men have no heart. But, my married friend likes that. She likes the 'roughness' of men."

Lyla writes, "I am glad that you put it the question about dating black girls out there. What a lot of men don't know or black men forget is that most black women have had to be be grown up before their time. They've have to be second mothers to the family, had to hear about how most black men are no good, are lazy and only misuse you if you allow it. We've been taught from childhood that we have to be strong, save our tears for when we're alone in the dark, almost be emotionless. We know what saving for a rainy day means (from the age of 10 at least), and how to depend upon ourselves if the man we end up with doesn't turn out to be that man we dreamed him to be. We have to do so much more that our boy siblings, who are babied and a cooed at by mama. It's OK for them to not learn the inner workings of a home, why should he lift a finger to help, "that's what a woman is for." These differences are driven into us till it is time to be on our own. Now mama/daddy wonder why their girl can't keep a man, or why she's so hard and why their son lets women walk all over him. Can't he just man up and tell that woman of his "no!" Women are being raised to be like men and men (hard) are being raised to be like women (soft) when one as a black woman has had to struggle most of her life with the role she's supposed to play as a black woman, it can get down right confusing and aggravating. Black girls aren't taught how to be sought after, what it means for a man to court her. You can't know how to act or respond if the idea hasn't been taught in the correct manner. By the time most black girls are adults we've been hit on in so many variations that you think all men are the same and just want to use you. Black women sometimes are so caught up in past/present hurts and storms that if we're not careful, we miss the real thing when it does come along. If you want to date a black girl, first look at the quality of woman you are dating. Is she well balanced in all areas of her life? Men, be honest about your intentions, and more importantly, be patient. Best things in life aren't free. If Jesus can be patient with mankind, what's your excuse? We black women have had our hearts broken a time or two and it's hard to open up yourself...even if the guy reaching out to you is worth it and you want to allow him in."

Dating black girls

A frustrated black man writes about his adventures dating African American women, "What is going on with our black sisters? They have no passion for love. They pray for a good man with good teeth, credit score, and a career and when they are blessed with a good man, they just don't know what the hell to do to keep the flame burning. Can someone tell me why they just don't practice catch and release if they don't know what to do when they get the fish in the boat? Is this a problem with other races? Maybe we need to identify some required reading material for those who just don't have a clue about how to be. The passion should last for decades, not months. It might be that my expectations are too high."