Jake writes, "I have recently been seeing this woman that is eleven years older than me, and we are both very much into each other. The only problem is that she is having issues with the fact that I am so much younger. I am so crazy about this woman and I want to be able to make this work for the two of us. She says that if I was only a few years older she wouldn't hesitate. So what I want to know is how do I make her more comfortable with the fact that I am so much younger, and make her realize how age doesn't matter when you have the connection we have?"

I think she is simply choosing to look at the more traditional age patterns to come up with her rationale for ending this relationship. So first thing that you want to make sure is that there are no other reasons that she would want to breakup and is merely using the age difference as an excuse.

Now also remember that most people have a right to end a relationship whenever they wish but I don't approve of it in cases where people already have inbuilt biases like "I will not date a younger man." I mean why would she date you then in the first place?

Still, there is hope. I have never lost faith in the power of persuasion when it comes to women. I am sure you had to do some of it all along and if you continue with it with this issue, trust me, chances are that she will realize what a small detail it is in the big scheme of things when you are really a perfect couple otherwise.

Phillip, a 22-year old writes, "I have noticed that older women around 30 or older are paying me some attention. My height probably attracts them. It seems strange and I do not wish to be taken advantage of. How should I view this? How does this affect my relationship with my parents?"

I am not surprised at all. As the trend becomes more mainstream and everyone gets comfortable with the idea of of an older woman with a younger man, it is no longer scandalous to flirt with a younger male and even to date him. In other words, these women want to find if you are interested in dating them, probably not even thinking what your age is.

Personally I have always believed that the "person" should be the #1 priority while dating. You could end up with a really incompatible person but that person could be your age. On the contrary, a person with a huge age gap might be the perfect partner for you. So look for the person and forget the age; you will make better dating choices.

Regarding your parents, I do not know enough to comment, but any reasonable parent will support the decision of their child, if that person make him happy.

I hear about relationships with big age gaps almost every day but there are times that some age gaps are bigger than what we are used to. Jim is 45 and is ready to marry an 18-year old. "It happened by our luck only. I was not looking for a relationship like this but we both love each other now. Am I wrong? Please tell me," he asks.

Indeed, there is no numbers counting when you fall in love. Since the two of you are both in love, get rid of any doubts you have. This is not the time to think since age is just a number. Indeed, you may have some problems in the marriage because of the age gap but I hear from couples every day who have problems - they also happen to be in the same age bracket. In fact, perfectly normal couples in every respect keep getting divorced or breaking up. This is simply a myth that people with wide age gap have any more problems than couples in the same age group. Of course you will need to make adjustments (the music that you like may not be the same as she does, for example) and so will she, but that is advice couples of all ages need. A relationship is about acceptance and compromises and as long as you do that you can have a beautiful relationship.

I like to publish stories of people who have found love despite a wide age gap. Here is a beautiful story from Hillary.

Note: If you are looking for relationship, you are welcome to join our free dating website.

I am 66 yrs old, widowed with 2 grown children. I am seeing a man 11 years younger. I was married to a man 17 years older. This man and I are amazingly compatible, we talk and listen to each other. We spend a great deal of time together. He was attracted to me because I am intelligent and well spoken. I am a good listener willing to spend as much time as he needs to talk.

He is a man used to women in their 30s, 40s, and maybe early 50s. He has struggled with our relationship, trying to accept our age difference, body differences, (I'm older, heavier, though younger looking with very little gray hair. I could easily pass for 55). I've decided to listen to him, be a support for his life and problems, care for him when he needs it and allow him plenty of space to deal with his confusion. He loves me, I love him. I plan to enjoy him however long this relationship lasts. Thank you for your wonderful articles, they offered reassurance to my situation.

Courtney is a 52 year old woman and this is what she wrote to me today. "I agree with you on the subject of an older woman being with a younger man. Many people don't accept that this is a viable option. I myself resisted the temptation for some time before succumbing to the affections of a man 23 years my junior. I wound up marrying him and the problems that surfaced in our marriage were not due to our large age gap. His family members were more judgmental than mine about the age difference. After 6 years of being together, he divorced me and went back to his ex, who is only about 4 years younger than myself. I have been alone for nearly a year and have not found a man thus far that suits me. Age is a number. This is what I want men and women out there to understand," she says.

I think Courtney's case clearly proves that if a couple is compatible otherwise, age is merely a number. And if they are otherwise incompatible, being of the same age can actually be a problem sometimes - a mature partner can handle the situation better.

Couple with 41 years age gap

While the current hot topic is younger men dating older women, the trend of older men in relationships with much younger women is not over. However, we have been surprised by one of our reader's story. She writes, "I am 31, and my significant other just turned 72. We have a great relationship. Most of the people in our lives, his 3 daughters, (his youngest is 9 years older than me), and my 3 children (12, 7, and 4) are all fine with our relationship. Of course, in the begining, there were questions from everyone. But now, there are only a couple people in our lives - my dad and step-mom, and his 24 year old grandson that has a problem. I was married before, he is widowed. We care about each other and we support each other, take care of ourselves and each other, and we both learn a lot from each other. I never imagined I would ever meet someone this special. By the way, he is not particularly wealthy, so I can't be accused of being a gold-digger. The hardest part is being in public. People think he is my grandfather, and when they find out our relationship are pretty obviously taken back. It is hard to meet others that can relate, and it is hard to know how to respond to confrontation. Any advice?"

Well, in over five years that we have operated LuvCube talking about such relationships, you are probably the couple with the biggest age gap. In any case, the most high profile case is that of Anna Nicole Smith and her husband J. Howard Marshall II since they had an age gap of 63 years. While she always claimed that he was the love of her life, no one believed her and called her a gold-digger.

While people are more accepting, as you have found out, your case is an exception. In other words, what it means is that you will have to live with this the rest of your life and learn to deal with it. Let me give you an example. My wife does not use my last name. So it is not uncommon for people to address us by each other's last names depending who they know. So the phone company (phone is in her name) always addresses me using her last name. What can we do? There is nothing offensive about it but it is awkward at times for me to be called at times with a last name that I love but is not mine.

How to deal with the situation?

This is what I would suggest. In situations where it is only temporary (e.g. when you check into a hotel and the clerk does not realize that he is your boyfriend), there is no reason to correct or to engage in a conversation trying to clarify it. You will only be making your life difficult. On the other hand, for people that must understand - family members, friends, etc. - you must politely and without embarassment - correct them. There is no reason to give long explanations. We all have a right to fall in love with anyone we choose to and others should respect that.

The sad reality of the world is that people just expect things to be a certain way. Men will only marry women. Children will only be born to heterosexual couples. People will only marry others like them. Remember not too long ago it was a scandal to marry someone of another race.

I would say that just because of the public reaction you should not stop living your life. Live your life as if his age is not an issue. Eventually people will see the beauty of it all and get used to it. Some idiots, though, never will. Don't worry about the idiots.