How to decide if I should date younger men?
consistently and finally I agreed to meet him. He is a man at this young age which is not always the case. He has goals and is achieving them. He is a good listener and a caring person and has in a short time touched me deeply. We met a few times, and the relationship came to a point where I had to make a decision to take a big step forward or to end it. I did not make love with him as I bond very deeply and do not want to take that risk. We had talked about friendship but I doubt that is possible considering the feelings we have for one another - certainly not now. My choice is to end it - mainly, but not entirely - due to my anticipation of the reactions of my family. I love my children fiercely, and a continuing relationship with him (he is about 40 years younger than me) would affect them/us greatly and negatively. This is another aspect of relationships with large age differences. He does not understand my reasons entirely - which is to be expected. I am hurting more than I expected from the breakup. I do not know if it is over yet. I am surprised how deeply he has touched me - met some very basic needs - in the short time I have known him. Young men continue to be attracted to me and some ask me to be their partner - more on a sexual basis - but not entirely. One of the reasons - given to me by the latest young man to contact me - is that the presumed wealth of my sexual experience is exciting to him. We have chatted a bit and I like him - we certainly are compatible. I am a little more cautious now after the experience with this man."
How to decide if you are ready to date younger guys?
I think that the time may have come for you sit down and decide what do you want from a relationship. Is it some spiritual satisfaction that you want, and if so, where are you willing to compromise on? If not on age, then, don't waste your time on these younger men. However, if you want to find a good man, then, age is merely a number, as they say. Go for it and have fun. I like to believe that no matter how hard you try you will never be able to make everyone happy. That is why as long as you follow some ethics, it is OK to just worry about yourself rather than the world. That is why if this young man is offering you what a man has not offered in a very long time, he deserves a chance.
Labels: age gap, mature women, younger men
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
I am skeptical of dating a younger man
I actually get emails like this almost every day. These are my thoughts.
- Never assume anything. How can you be sure that all young men are cheats?
- If you look and feel young, well, take advantage of this. There are women in their 40s who behave like my grandma in her 80s.
- Yes, young men can be accused of many things (I have got hundreds of stories of young guys who just wanted bragging rights or the thrill of dating and having sex with a desperate, sex-starved mature woman or were just desperate for a date with anyone or whatever else drove them) but isn't that true for men of any age dating a woman their age?
- Based on what you tell me, I do see that you both appear to have some initial chemistry. And I have heard from dozens of men, women, and couples who are in beautiful relationships despite huge age gaps. The reason is the same that holds a marriage of a couple with similar age together: love, respect, shared goals, compatibility, and common interests. In other words, there is much more going on for you two than a crush or fetish.
So go ahead with an open mind, give your best to it as you would do a man in your age group, and see what happens. And yep, keep those outfits cute; my wife and I who are exactly your age look and feel as we were 20 years ago and are proud of it.
Labels: age gap, mature women, older woman, younger men
Friday, June 05, 2009
How I dated and married a younger man?
Labels: age gap, marriage, mature women, younger men
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Is it right for me to start dating younger men?
She wrote to me and here is her response:
"Seeing that you have so many articles on your site about older women dating younger men, maybe I don't have to limit myself to looking for men around my age who can be cynical and skeptical. Maybe I should broaden my options. At any rate, I get mostly younger guys coming on to me anyway and I rarely date guys my age. However, I am very careful because it seems I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. Because I don't look my age (although what does a 40 year old supposed to look like?), I am that age, so though I attract younger guys, I don't want to end up being the proverbial Mrs. Robinson, if you know what I mean.
While it is the norm for older men to date and marry younger women, most guys don't see themselves in long-term committed relationships with women significantly older than they are because of the children factor or for various other preconceived notions. I understand their skepticism; however, I am not going to sell myself short just because of my age. In my mind, I'm every bit as viable, and vibrant as someone in their 20's even if society doesn't think so."
I still have some suggestions for a woman in similar circumstances. I would suggest that you approach dating younger men with caution. Yes, I have heard from couples like that who are deeply in love, and happily married, but there is also a small group of relationships that did not work out (of course, that is true for couples with no age gap too). It is a bit tricky for those men that want to have a family but will find it difficult with a woman that is 40+, but then not all men want children (and some may already have kids from a previous relationship). As long as you are direct and honest that you do not want to have a relationship with a younger guy just to show him off as a trophy or to experience sex with him, you can attract the right kind of guys.
Labels: age gap, dating, mature women, older woman, younger men
Monday, May 25, 2009
Why do young dudes like old chicks?
Well, if you read my blog and if you have watched several TV programs on the subject, there are many couples out there with such vast differences, though, I think people still tend to look at them with skepticism, and often accuse the woman of trapping the guy or the guy being attracted to the woman's wealth. I have heard from some men who love these women even though she is not wealthy and has turned away their advances.
So, we can divide these men into several categories:
1. Greedy men who want a woman's wealth after she dies.
2. Lonely men who have been rejected so often by women in their age group that they have given up on them.
3. Men who assume that an older woman is more likely desperate for sex and intimacy and is thus easy to manipulate for whatever they have in mind.
4. Men who are fascinated by the idea of sex with an older woman. You know the ones who lusted for their friend's mom in school or their teachers or a neighbor or even an aunt. This has been romanticized a lot in movies and literature and with so many of our Hollywood icons being in their 40s and 50s, many boys grow up liking older women.
5. There are a lot of single, older women (divorce, late marriages, never married, etc.) available in our society these days.
6. Many older women are intelligent, confident, and far more interesting than a girl in her 20s, for example. What man would not be attracted to all that?
I think when these men interact with you and want to spend time with you, it is some combination of all of the above.
If you are up for it, I would encourage you to actually explore dating with these men in 20s, if not for anything serious, but at least for finding out more about you and them. I am sure I will learn a lot from your experience and through my blog I can pass on the wisdom to other men and women exploring relationships with such huge gaps.
Labels: age gap, dating, older woman, younger men
How can I attract a lady older than me?
- They may not necessarily be interested in dating, particularly if they are already in a relationship.
- Many find it difficult to believe that a younger guy may be interested in them, or at least, be serious about them.
- Some have low self-esteem due to aging and often wrongly believe that just because they have stretch marks or sagging body, younger men would not find them attractive.
- They also suspect that you are interested only in sex and are not serious about emotional involvement.
Labels: age gap, casual dating, mature women, younger men
Warning for mature women dating younger guys
"As an older woman of 40, who is always told that I look 28 at the most, by everyone, I get mostly younger guys wanting to go out with me. I worry, though, that once they find out my age, they don't want to get serious. They just want to hang out, have sex and enjoy me for what it's worth before finding someone closer to their own age. They write me off as immediately being incompatible with what they want. It is sad sometimes. I wonder Do these guys have honorable intentions towards these older women. Does a 28 year old interested in a 40 year old seriously considering her for marriage? Most younger guys just want sex with older women and older women have to be cautious before opening their hearts to these guys who just want all the benefits but none of the commitment."
Labels: age gap, dating, mature women, younger men
Friday, January 30, 2009
How to make a relationship with big age gap work?
In that context, I heard from Franklin, who at 55 married a 25-year old. He says, "After 3 years of dating, we got married, had a beautiful son, and then I found out she was doing my church pastor. This kind of relationships can work as long as both parties are doing it from the heart, with all the right reasons and with God involved."
Labels: age gap
Thursday, January 29, 2009
47 year old woman dating a 78 year old man
I am a strong believer, and I have heard from thousands of couples like you in relationships with huge age difference, that a couple can have a great relationship regardless of the age gap.
Having said that, I hope you also understand that it is one thing for a 20 year old woman to date a 50 year old man but an altogether different matter when the ages are like yours. Based on typical life expectancy in the developed world, he is already past it. In other words, his health may fail and you will be taking a lot of care of him. On the other hand, you are still very young. And yes, Viagra can perform magic on very old men, but do not be surprised if he cannot perform in bed, or at least is unable to satisfy a woman this young.
What I am trying to tell you is that you both can have an excellent relationship and you should go for it as long as you understand that sex, if possible, will not be great, and the relationship may not last for a very long time.
Labels: age gap, chemistry, older man, viagra, younger women
Monday, January 05, 2009
My friends tell me not to date an older woman
First of all, most of the people that I have been hearing from are dealing with relationships that are with 20-30 years age gap, so yours is a somewhat simpler situation.
Now as you can understand the traditional thinking is that the girl should be around the same age or preferably somewhat younger. There are many cultural, economic, social, and biological reasons for it but a lot of things are changing these days. Such relationships have exploded, even leading to marriage and children, but not everyone is aware or comfortable with them, and that is why the confusing message you have been getting from your friends.
So go see her and find out more about her. What is she looking for? What are you looking for right now? Obviously that will dictate a lot of things. Are you ready to marry if you meet the right person?
One issue to think about is a woman's probability of getting pregnant naturally as she approaches 40. So if you want children, you may have to hurry up with her and you might not have a lot of time to waste in dating for a few years and then marrying her.
However, if you find that she is the woman of your dreams and everything that you would look for in a life partner, then just ignore what others say. After all it is you who is going to have to live with a partner, not them. I have seen way too many awful relationships among couples with the perfect age combination and a lot of good relationships with huge age gaps.
Sounds like a cliche, but age is just a number, really.
Labels: age gap, mature women, older woman, younger men
Monday, December 29, 2008
27 year old woman happily married to 62 year old man
If you are contemplating such a relationship with a huge age gap, go right ahead and enjoy it.
If you are in a relationship with a wide age difference, I would like to hear from you. Or you can simply comment on this page.
Labels: age gap, marriage, older man, sugar daddy, younger women
I love an older man because he is rich
Anne writes, "He is 55, I am 22. I can't tell if I love him the person, or I love him because he is a multimillionaire. I don't think it's because of his money,but I am so clear if he has no money, I won't him. I guess,it's kinda because I think he is smart, and smart guy should be rich. Is that enough to make me fall in love with a man older than me by 30 years? I feel lost. Maybe I am just that kind of girl that loves old guys. It's weird."You are not alone in thinking that. Women are almost always attracted to power and money, which in most cases, as you said, comes from intellect, knowledge, and being smart. Such men are also kind and respect women, but what you have to ask yourself is what is the future of this relationship. Do you simply want to have a good time with him for as long as possible or do you think that you want to marry him some day and live happily ever after? You may have to do some more research to find out what he is looking for. Are you simply a toy for this man or is he in love with you and wants to marry you?
There is another possibility that you have talked about: women who like fatherly figures. Yes, a group of women love and even marry men that remind them of their dads.
In each case, there is nothing wrong with having this relationship; you just have to ask what is it that you want and if you can get it with this man.
Labels: age gap, older man, younger women
Friday, December 19, 2008
How can I convince my older girlfriend to make love to me?
Noah writes, "I have a good relationship with an attractive older woman. She is 19 years older than I am. We enjoy deep conversations. I want our relationship to become closer. I want to make love to her and find it appropriate for us to do it. She has not said that she does not want it in our relationship but she seems uncertain. She seems hesitant about our age difference. She has said that if we were closer in age things would be different. She said that she lost her virginity the same year I was born. She has not said that she would not enjoy it together. How can I encourage her to think differently about age differences in regards to being physically intimate? Might there be other reasons why she seems uncertain about physical intimacy? Is it common despite age difference in a relationship for the man to want intimacy and find it appropriate and a woman to seem hesitant about it in the relationship?"I think at this time she is probably also uncertain about your relationship and is afraid that being physically intimate with you will only complicate the situation for both of you.
There can be other reasons for her reluctance. As women get older, they suffer from menopause and many women suffer from lower libido. Vaginal dryness is also common, making it somewhat less pleasurable to make love. She could also be suffering from depression or taking medication that could lower desire.
As women get older, and particularly if they have had children, they also see sagging of breasts, accumulation of fat in many areas, and cellulite, making them feel somewhat less attractive and doubt if a younger man more used to seeing younger women would find them attractive.
If I were you and was completely confident that I wanted to have a serious relationship with her (and not just casual sex) I would not push her into sex at this point. I would much rather spend my time building the relationship and gaining her trust that it is neither about lust nor a short-term fling or a young man's fetish for a mature woman. Do you have the desire and the patience to do this? If so you will be rewarded big time in the end with all her love and passion.
Labels: age gap, mature women, younger men
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Am I crazy to like a man 15 years younger than me?
Michelle writes, "I met a young man 15 years my junior about 5 years ago. We started out as friends and began seeing each other more; no commitments to one another, just that when we are together, we are together and we respect each others space. He would come to my home anytime he wanted and I to his but by choice I didn't go that often. He asked me a couple times how I felt about him; all I would say is I care a lot for him and he would say nothing but I suppose because I never asked. He would tell me many times how much he appreciates me, then a couple of months ago I told him I was moving away and then he would tell me that he loved me. He is moving closer to me in the next couple of months but not soon enough for me. I really love him and I believe in my heart that he too loves me the same way. Am I crazy?"First of all, you are not the most unusual case that I have come across. I have heard from women who are in relationships with men who are young enough to be their grandchildren.
Trust me; yes women who are in healthy relationships with men that are 30 years younger than them.
My position on such relationships is based on a simple fact of life: our intellectual age has little to do with our chronological age. Have you ever met a 50 year old who has the same intelligence of a 12-year old? I have. There are a lot of morons out there, often even holding responsible positions everywhere. I also know recent college graduates who have the depth of grandpa and can blow your mind with their intellectual depth and knowledge. In other words, that is what you are experiencing. You like someone because he is intellectually and emotionally compatible with you, regardless of his age.
My suggestion to all such women is that they should take the plunge because they will some day regret that they rejected a man for merely his age when in reality it does not matter.
So will some people raise eyebrows looking at you two together?
Well, many will if he liked pink shirts or had facial hair or had a tattoo on his butt or wore Speedo to the beach. So I would say that for once tell him how you feel without holding back. Who knows that you two might end up having a relationship of a lifetime.
So go ahead and do it and let me know how it turns out.
Labels: age gap, dating, older woman, younger men
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
My young boyfriend breaks up because of my age
Linda writes, "I am a young looking 46 year old woman, dating a 30 years old guy. I have 3 kids, he has one, he can not handle our age difference. He will not be seen in public with me as he says people look at us. We have a very good sex life, we get along most days, we make each other laugh, he now wants the relationship over. We still live together, until I find another house. I am so heartbroken. I love him so much. Please help."Labels: age gap, older woman, younger men
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
How do I tell my older girlfriend that age does not matter?
Jake writes, "I have recently been seeing this woman that is eleven years older than me, and we are both very much into each other. The only problem is that she is having issues with the fact that I am so much younger. I am so crazy about this woman and I want to be able to make this work for the two of us. She says that if I was only a few years older she wouldn't hesitate. So what I want to know is how do I make her more comfortable with the fact that I am so much younger, and make her realize how age doesn't matter when you have the connection we have?"I think she is simply choosing to look at the more traditional age patterns to come up with her rationale for ending this relationship. So first thing that you want to make sure is that there are no other reasons that she would want to breakup and is merely using the age difference as an excuse.
Now also remember that most people have a right to end a relationship whenever they wish but I don't approve of it in cases where people already have inbuilt biases like "I will not date a younger man." I mean why would she date you then in the first place?
Still, there is hope. I have never lost faith in the power of persuasion when it comes to women. I am sure you had to do some of it all along and if you continue with it with this issue, trust me, chances are that she will realize what a small detail it is in the big scheme of things when you are really a perfect couple otherwise.
Labels: age gap, older woman, younger men
Monday, September 15, 2008
Cougars want me
Phillip, a 22-year old writes, "I have noticed that older women around 30 or older are paying me some attention. My height probably attracts them. It seems strange and I do not wish to be taken advantage of. How should I view this? How does this affect my relationship with my parents?"I am not surprised at all. As the trend becomes more mainstream and everyone gets comfortable with the idea of of an older woman with a younger man, it is no longer scandalous to flirt with a younger male and even to date him. In other words, these women want to find if you are interested in dating them, probably not even thinking what your age is.
Personally I have always believed that the "person" should be the #1 priority while dating. You could end up with a really incompatible person but that person could be your age. On the contrary, a person with a huge age gap might be the perfect partner for you. So look for the person and forget the age; you will make better dating choices.
Regarding your parents, I do not know enough to comment, but any reasonable parent will support the decision of their child, if that person make him happy.
Monday, July 16, 2007
45 year old man marries 18 year old woman
Indeed, there is no numbers counting when you fall in love. Since the two of you are both in love, get rid of any doubts you have. This is not the time to think since age is just a number. Indeed, you may have some problems in the marriage because of the age gap but I hear from couples every day who have problems - they also happen to be in the same age bracket. In fact, perfectly normal couples in every respect keep getting divorced or breaking up. This is simply a myth that people with wide age gap have any more problems than couples in the same age group. Of course you will need to make adjustments (the music that you like may not be the same as she does, for example) and so will she, but that is advice couples of all ages need. A relationship is about acceptance and compromises and as long as you do that you can have a beautiful relationship.
Labels: age gap, marriage, older man, relationship, younger women
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Mature woman happy with her younger boyfriend
Note: If you are looking for relationship, you are welcome to join our free dating website.
I am 66 yrs old, widowed with 2 grown children. I am seeing a man 11 years younger. I was married to a man 17 years older. This man and I are amazingly compatible, we talk and listen to each other. We spend a great deal of time together. He was attracted to me because I am intelligent and well spoken. I am a good listener willing to spend as much time as he needs to talk.
He is a man used to women in their 30s, 40s, and maybe early 50s. He has struggled with our relationship, trying to accept our age difference, body differences, (I'm older, heavier, though younger looking with very little gray hair. I could easily pass for 55). I've decided to listen to him, be a support for his life and problems, care for him when he needs it and allow him plenty of space to deal with his confusion. He loves me, I love him. I plan to enjoy him however long this relationship lasts. Thank you for your wonderful articles, they offered reassurance to my situation.
Labels: age gap, mature women, relationship
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Age is just a number in relationships
I think Courtney's case clearly proves that if a couple is compatible otherwise, age is merely a number. And if they are otherwise incompatible, being of the same age can actually be a problem sometimes - a mature partner can handle the situation better.
Labels: age gap, couples, divorce, marriage, relationship
Monday, January 15, 2007
Couple with 41 years age gap
Well, in over five years that we have operated LuvCube talking about such relationships, you are probably the couple with the biggest age gap. In any case, the most high profile case is that of Anna Nicole Smith and her husband J. Howard Marshall II since they had an age gap of 63 years. While she always claimed that he was the love of her life, no one believed her and called her a gold-digger.
While people are more accepting, as you have found out, your case is an exception. In other words, what it means is that you will have to live with this the rest of your life and learn to deal with it. Let me give you an example. My wife does not use my last name. So it is not uncommon for people to address us by each other's last names depending who they know. So the phone company (phone is in her name) always addresses me using her last name. What can we do? There is nothing offensive about it but it is awkward at times for me to be called at times with a last name that I love but is not mine.
How to deal with the situation?
This is what I would suggest. In situations where it is only temporary (e.g. when you check into a hotel and the clerk does not realize that he is your boyfriend), there is no reason to correct or to engage in a conversation trying to clarify it. You will only be making your life difficult. On the other hand, for people that must understand - family members, friends, etc. - you must politely and without embarassment - correct them. There is no reason to give long explanations. We all have a right to fall in love with anyone we choose to and others should respect that.
The sad reality of the world is that people just expect things to be a certain way. Men will only marry women. Children will only be born to heterosexual couples. People will only marry others like them. Remember not too long ago it was a scandal to marry someone of another race.
I would say that just because of the public reaction you should not stop living your life. Live your life as if his age is not an issue. Eventually people will see the beauty of it all and get used to it. Some idiots, though, never will. Don't worry about the idiots.
Labels: age gap, gold digger, love, mature men, relationship, romance


