How to date a black girl

Lyla writes, "I am glad that you put it the question about dating black girls out there. What a lot of men don't know or black men forget is that most black women have had to be be grown up before their time. They've have to be second mothers to the family, had to hear about how most black men are no good, are lazy and only misuse you if you allow it. We've been taught from childhood that we have to be strong, save our tears for when we're alone in the dark, almost be emotionless. We know what saving for a rainy day means (from the age of 10 at least), and how to depend upon ourselves if the man we end up with doesn't turn out to be that man we dreamed him to be. We have to do so much more that our boy siblings, who are babied and a cooed at by mama. It's OK for them to not learn the inner workings of a home, why should he lift a finger to help, "that's what a woman is for." These differences are driven into us till it is time to be on our own. Now mama/daddy wonder why their girl can't keep a man, or why she's so hard and why their son lets women walk all over him. Can't he just man up and tell that woman of his "no!" Women are being raised to be like men and men (hard) are being raised to be like women (soft) when one as a black woman has had to struggle most of her life with the role she's supposed to play as a black woman, it can get down right confusing and aggravating. Black girls aren't taught how to be sought after, what it means for a man to court her. You can't know how to act or respond if the idea hasn't been taught in the correct manner. By the time most black girls are adults we've been hit on in so many variations that you think all men are the same and just want to use you. Black women sometimes are so caught up in past/present hurts and storms that if we're not careful, we miss the real thing when it does come along. If you want to date a black girl, first look at the quality of woman you are dating. Is she well balanced in all areas of her life? Men, be honest about your intentions, and more importantly, be patient. Best things in life aren't free. If Jesus can be patient with mankind, what's your excuse? We black women have had our hearts broken a time or two and it's hard to open up yourself...even if the guy reaching out to you is worth it and you want to allow him in."