Courtney writes, "I have been in and out of relationships for some time. I am now in a relationship where I actually really like this guy but my insecurities and low self-esteem is ruining our relationship. I did tell him before we started to date that I am very sensitive and take everything to heart and that it doesn't take much to make me upset. I have been trying to change my ways but I need help. He and I had a talked this morning through texting and we almost broke up because he doesn't know how to deal with my insecurities where I am sad and not a pleasant girlfriend to talk to. It hurts, when I have to sit and explain how I feel and get nothing in return. Before we almost ended it, he said that "I like you and I want to stay together to at least try and work on our relationship." We are new in the relationship so any type of advice would be wonderful."

I totally understand how lack of confidence and self esteem can make it harder for you to have a proper relationship. Yep, the girl asks, "Does my butt look too big in these jeans," and if the poor guy says either a Yes or No, he is in trouble either way with someone who has low self esteem. Even a praise can be misconstrued by such a woman as mockery or ridicule or criticism.

I am glad that your boyfriend is supportive and understanding, but not all men are like him, and even his patience may not be infinite.

In other words, you will need to work on these issues (preferably with a life coach) and deal with them head on. He might only bear with you for a while but you need to resolve them on your own. During this period, do not judge him because it is not him, it is you who is drawing the wrong conclusion. If he is not looking at you and looking at a woman passing by, do not assume that it is because you are ugly and the other girl is hot. You get the idea.

Raising your self esteem and getting rid of your insecurities is something that takes time and if you wish I will be glad to help you in that area. If you want to get help from me, sit down quietly, and write down a list of all the things that you hate about your body, your life, and your world, and then email it to me.

I am self conscious in front of girls

Josh writes, "I often get looks and stares from girls about being tall. I am only a little over 6' 3. I am concerned about this. I do not feel that women treat me seriously. I do not look for relationships but often feel threatened by them. I sometimes attract older women which is uncomfortable for me. I have realized that dating older women is not for me because of my low self esteem. I also get laughed at by other guys of my race (African-American). I do not wish to start anything confrontational with people, but it seems that people may be threatened by me or something else. I know that I am not paranoid, but I do notice something wrong or a change. My idea is not to attract a lot of girls, but good people. How should I go about this?"

Actually, height is a big advantage and almost all women like tall men, though, very short women maybe reluctant to approach you because they know that you may not like short women and it will be an incompatible match. In any case, you should not feel bad about your body that you were born with, as long as you do not have a big tummy or are not fat because that has health implications.

Regarding being taken seriously, well, you have to be serious first. If you are always kidding around, then, no one take you seriously.

During recent years it is common for older women to chase younger men and that should make you feel nothing different than a woman your age chasing you. However, if you are not interested, you can politely say that you are looking to date someone around your age.

As you have admitted yourself, you seem to be way too conscious of yourself and that has led to lower self esteem and lack of confidence. You have a victim mentality and imagined fears that others are out to get you. That is not likely the case -- most people are so self-absorbed these days that they hardly care how others look or behave.

Raising self esteem is not something difficult to do. You do seem to be liked by girls and all you need to do is to go out there and conquer the world. If you have access to a mentor or life coach or counselor or a good friend, I strongly suggest that you reach out to him to help you build your confidence, develop positive body image, not just for falling in love but also in other aspects of your life, like career.