Dawn writes, "I'm with an Alpha male (physically only). Emotionally, he's insecure and needy. He talk about his needs only - though when it comes to the physical intimacy he so wants to please me. If I don't want to put my hands in his pants, he gets offended as opposed to all the other men I've been with who responded with understanding and gave me more time! He is the tall, dark and handsome guy who has been with many girls (hardly any quality women), so he now can't take suggestion or criticism. He goes around saying "I'm an Alpha male." He says being promiscuous, and having been able to be with most women he wanted has messed him up! I'm so attracted to him physically, it's like fire between us, but emotionally I am so turned off! I want to dump him because I feel like throwing up when I see how he acts like an 18 year old (no exaggeration) - he's 29!! What do you think?"

Relationship without an emotional bond

Your case is very interesting. It seems that you want him physically but not emotionally. Definitely a normal relationship with this man is impossible and not only does he know it, you know it too. You are in it for the same reason that he is in it: sex.

The good news is that this sort of superficial attraction does not last forever. Sex alone is not adequate to sustain a relationship for very long. Right now you are each other's sex toys but very soon you both will get bored with each other.

So you have to ask yourself what do you want right now or in the near future? If you want a steady, romantic relationship with a man who appreciates you not just as a sex object but as a woman with a heart and soul, then it is time to get rid of him. However, if you think sex is too good to tolerate him for a little while more, then it is perfectly fine to use him as what the Japanese call as a sex-friend. It is a person with whom you have just sex and do not even make an effort to engage emotionally or intellectually. Once you stop making that effort to connect emotionally, sex gets even better and life is a lot less stressful. At some point, if either of you gets tired, you can always find a more conventional relationship.

How to overcome jealousy?

There is no doubt that jealousy is a very negative emotion, but can this negativism be turned into something so positive that it becomes a powerful force of change?

Yes, it can be, so says Dr. Deborah Anapol, author of The Seven Natural Laws of Love. "What if rather than being something to be avoided, jealousy is to be welcomed as a way to illuminate the subtle ways our ego insinuates itself into our spiritual endeavors, revealing powerful opportunities for personal evolution?" she asks in her book "Compersion (a made up word which means the opposite of jealousy): Using Jealousy as a Path to Unconditional Love."

Dr. Anapol explains, "The book grew out of my own experiences and those of many clients and workshop participants over the years processing their jealousy. It consists of a collection of one-page meditations. These meditations are intended to challenge and restructure common beliefs about the nature of love and relationship. This process of self-examination turns up whatever may be in the way of true unconditional love. The lesson is to let jealousy be your teacher."