Vijay in Chennai writes, "Since last one month my neighbor, a married woman and I have both been looking at each other and making eye contact. She is too far to speak but I want to make a hand gesture indicating that I am interested in her. How to make my first move? How can find out if she is interested or not?"

Based on what you say, I think there is definitely interest on both sides. Have you done something else, like smiling at her, or waving at her? If not, this is a good time to do it and notice her reaction. If she responds or acknowledges it then it is a good sign. If not, unless she is really shy, you might be totally mistaken. Let me know what happens after you do it.

In any case, if the response is positive, it may be time to find an excuse to visit her house. For instance, you can buy a magazine, put some stamps on it, and her address on it, and then show up saying that it was delivered to your house by mistake. That way you will get an opportunity to talk to her and also hint to her that you are interested in her.

Victor writes, "I am looking at my neighbor woman for sex but I can't find out if she is ready to have sex with me or not. But often I see her looking me and and smiling at me when we run into each other in the common areas of our development. So how can I find out if this girl likes me or not?"

Just looking at each other may not mean much. Maybe she just thinks that your clothes are old fashioned or you have a big nose. You know what I mean.

You have to see if she is also flirting with you. That is what is important. You can also start flirting with her and if she responds then you know that you are on the right track; otherwise, stop wasting your time.

Women are not sex objects

In any case, you should stop thinking of her in terms of sex alone. Most girls abhor this attitude and even if she is attracted to you once she finds out that your interest is purely carnal, she will be turned off.

Shekhar in Calcutta, writes, "I want to say something about my initial flirt. In my flat I have a big window. I have been passing my time there only because I like cool ocean breeze and often enjoy a glass of wine there. One day I found a woman from the apartment in the next building looking at me. While I was watching she didn’t give that much of response. After two or three days I did the same. Then she started to shut the window. After a few weeks, she also tried to see me little bit. Now she is looking at me more often and it has been going on like that. One more thing, for the last two days she is also using my same time to go to her office and I could meet her on the way to the train station. So is this girl interested in me or what? Am I going the right way or not? Please help me."

How to find out if a neighbor is romantically interested?

It appears that this girl is definitely interested in you to some extent but I am not sure if this is going too far because both of you are way too shy.

I think the logical next step for you will be to casually approach her while you go to work and see if she is interested in you. Just go up to her and say hello and tell her that you are interested in friendship with her. If she calls the police, you should stay away from her; if she seems inclined to talk more about work, life, etc., you might end up finding out that she feels the same way you do.

Tony writes, "I tend to attract bad women. I do not flirt or anything. However, a few years ago some women said "Hi sexy" as I walked by. This was strange. Others make fun of the way I walk. I am young and in college. What should I do about this. Some of the women have been really rude."

I don't think you attract bad women. First of all, forget what happened a few years ago (even if it was pleasant) because things change over time. Secondly, don't pay too much attention to how others are reacting and behaving. A lot of time girls can get mean just because you ignore them (yes, that is why you might want to consider flirting). They think that you are arrogant if you don't go and beg for their attention.

I guess just be yourself and relax. Chances are that a girl will like you for who you are and you can fall in love with her.

Regarding your walk, you can meet with a physiotherapist and make sure that there is nothing wrong with your posture.

Oscar writes, "I am in college and have noticed two girls in class sometimes smile and laugh when they look at me. Sometimes when I make a comment in class they laugh. I know that some girls like to have fun. I do not want to misread people or take things seriously. How should I view their behavior?"

Yes, in 90% of cases this is a good sign, especially if the laugh is as if they are a little embarrassed, shy, playful, naughty, etc. and also exhibit other body language signs of interest and flirting. I am guessing that one of them is teasing the other about you or they both tease each other about you.

The only remote possibility that you need to eliminate is that these are not mean girls that are actually making fun of you for some reason.

So try to talk to them casually about something class-related and if they are warm and pleasant, I think it is a good idea to move forward to find which one of the two is actually interested in you.

My crush has not asked me out yet

Lillian writes, "I have been liking this guy for a while and it seemed like he liked me back. We would flirt constantly and it seemed as if he was going to ask me out. Then suddenly he lost all interest. It's been a couple weeks and I still like him. What should I do and what did I do wrong?

A couple of things may have happened since you were at such an early stage of dating.

1. He was doing the same with more than one girl and someone else somehow won the battle. Maybe she and him were more compatible or she was more aggressive in pursuing him.
2. Something went wrong between the two of you. It could be something that you did or said or he simply did not like something about you. I remember one girl that I lost interest in once I discovered her personal hygiene habits.
   
3. Something else has happened that has made him busy or put his dating plans on hold. It could be something at work or family life or whatever.

Since you are in an unknown territory here, it is best to email him just asking him how he has been doing and if everything is well. Do not mention anything about seeing him again or even hinting that you are still waiting to be asked out. Maybe you will learn more about what happened (e.g. if he just lost his job or a family member is not well) or if he is otherwise fine but sends you simply a polite reply, it means that he is not interested romantically in you.

Time to move on then.