Rakesh from Patna writes, "I have had a wonderful person in my life for several years. She is very nice person that I have ever met in my life. We started as friends but then I fell in love with her. The problem is that she already loves someone. Even though we are very close to each other, she is now afraid that his boyfriend may not like our rather cozy relationship. What can I do to end this relationship because it is making it harder for me to find a girlfriend since I still like her and cannot imagine falling in love with another girl when she is always on my mind?"

Sorry to hear that your love did not work out. It happens all the time -- the person you love is already in a relationship with someone else.

My suggestion to you would be to forget this woman and move on with your life. You sound like a kind, romantic man and I am confident that you will easily find other women who will appreciate a boyfriend like you. So get her out of your head, go spend time with your friends and family, and eventually another girl will recognize that you are a wonderful man and fall in love with you.

The easiest thing for you to do will be to tell her that since she is in a romantic relationship with another man it is not appropriate for you two to be together. That way, her memories will fade from your mind and you will start to feel attracted to other women.

In most cases, men are pretty straightforward in expressing if they are enjoying sex with a woman or not. The only problem is a man who is simply too shy or does not know what sex is supposed to feel like.

So if your boyfriend is not complaining, he initiates and looks forward to intimacy with you, suggests and tries new ways of pleasing each other, and your relationship is otherwise fine, it is fair to assume that he is sexually satisfied. However, if you notice that he asks for more sex or complains about you not providing him certain types of sex, or avoids sex with you, or treats sex like a chore, then you might have a problem.

Ramesh writes, "I am an Asian man looking for a girlfriend in South Korea. I am in search of a matrimonial group who can help me and hope you can guide me. If not, kindly lead me to a proper party who does matchmaking job in Korea."

Well, I am not a big fan of matchmaking companies. I like a man to hunt his own women.

I know nothing about South Korea (all I learned during my brief travels there is that the girls are beautiful and sweet but somewhat less likely to enter into relationships with other ethnicities) and I couldn't help you but I am sure that if you try dating, you can succeed or at least find out if you are pursuing a reasonable dream or wasting your time.

Victor writes, "I am looking at my neighbor woman for sex but I can't find out if she is ready to have sex with me or not. But often I see her looking me and and smiling at me when we run into each other in the common areas of our development. So how can I find out if this girl likes me or not?"

Just looking at each other may not mean much. Maybe she just thinks that your clothes are old fashioned or you have a big nose. You know what I mean.

You have to see if she is also flirting with you. That is what is important. You can also start flirting with her and if she responds then you know that you are on the right track; otherwise, stop wasting your time.

Women are not sex objects

In any case, you should stop thinking of her in terms of sex alone. Most girls abhor this attitude and even if she is attracted to you once she finds out that your interest is purely carnal, she will be turned off.

Anika writes, "My BF and have been together for 3 years. I think he may be cheating, not physically, but still. He still talks to his ex and doesn't see a problem with it. Some of the messages between them have been very suggestive. I'm afraid to confront him because I was sneaking through his phone but on the other hand he knows I don't like him talking to her and he has promised to stop. He did for a while but started up again. I just don't see why he needs to talk to her. I don't want to break up with him but I don't want to feel like I'm making him choose. I really love him and we are getting our own place. We have plans of marriage and kids but I just can't help but lay awake knowing that he rather talk to her and lie about than consider my feelings. On top of that I found a bunch of nasty text messages in the past from a different girl. I confronted him in a fight and he said it was him pretending because he knew I was going through his phone. I don't believe him but I let it go. He is very controlling and scares me. I let him get away with murder but don't want to leave him. I wake up at least 5 days a week and wishing I was with someone who deserved me. What should I do?"

Even though you say that you don't want to breakup and you love this man plus he is a controlling man, I will still say that you should seriously consider breaking up with him. Why? Your boyfriend is addicted to cheating with women and no matter what you do, he will always be messing around with other girls. And if you don't end the relationship and get married to him, you will never be in peace because every single day you will either need to keep an eye on him so that he is not messing around with another woman or lie awake wondering where he is.

In response to my article my boyfriend is a liar, Leticia writes, "There are times when we don't want to accept the truth for so many reasons. We only see what is exactly in front of us. I don't know if it is the fear of being alone or you just get accustomed to being with that one person, with the hope that they love you enough to care about your feelings. But what I've come to realize is that if they don't care about themselves, how can they care about anyone else. I'm a strong believer that if men thought about these things being done to their mother, sister, daughter, they would think twice about some of the things they subject women to."

Joseph writes, "I am badly hurt after my breakup with my GF and I need help. I thought she was the love of my life and I was dreaming of a beautiful destination wedding in Mexico and she dropped the bomb that she has found someone else. I am devastated."

I can understand how you are feeling right now, but trust me, you will get over it. We all do. Breakup, divorce or death of a partner are all terrible events but eventually we all move on and find love again.

You haven't told me much about what/how it all happened but here are some tips. Do not think much about her. If possible, take a vacation and go some place. Don't try to date right away either. It is nice to take a break from dating too for a few weeks.

Trust me, within a few weeks you will feel new again and can start over.

It is not easy to ask a woman to dump her boyfriend or expect a married woman to get a divorce even though she is clearly interested in a relationship with you. While you may lose an opportunity, you may also end up making a fool of yourself.

Paul has a similar dilemma. He says, "I have this girl here at my college. She is in a long distance relationship. However, she has flirted with me often and even stated that she has feelings for me and has thought of me when she was alone. She even text-messaged me saying she couldn't sleep because she was thinking about me. We get along very well and even sat down and talked and laughed for about four hours because we lost track of time. I like her personality because she is so outgoing and I must admit she isn't bad on the the eyes either. She has stated that she likes my personality as well. She likes her current boyfriend, of course, and I am not the type to make her cheat or breakup. I respect her and her dating choices, but I can tell she feels something for me as well. I don't know if I should make a move and convince her I could be better than the man she is with. I also don't know if I am just a fall-back guy because her boyfriend lives so far away. I just don't know and don't have enough insight on women to make a decision. I like her and she stated she likes me as well. I ask you Should I make a move? And if yes, then should it be straightforward or more passive? I would really appreciate your input."

My question is What did you do/say to her when she said/did all these things. Is it a possibility that you did not reciprocate her declaration of feelings for you? If so, she may be wondering that you do not like her enough yet and that is why the relationship has not gone anywhere.

Please do let her know that you feel about her the way she feels about you. You can do that by either telling her in person or writing it down in a card or by starting to flirt back with her. I would say that at this stage it is best that you do not "make a move" as such but reassure her that the passionate feelings are mutual and you are as much into her as she is into you. At that point she may be able to make up her mind but there is a possibility that she likes the other guy even more and is simply entertaining herself by flirting with you - you just need to be prepared for this reality and the resulting disappointment.

Positive relationship with your ex

It is not just Bruce Willis and Demi Moore who get it right - be able to look into each others eyes and smile even after a divorce or breakup. Others can do it too. It just requires more class.

I have been helping Melissa who broke up with her girlfriend after she complained about her not being warm about the relationship. They broke up and Melissa has decided to change certain things about herself. She wrote her ex a polite letter and thought that was it.

But no. She actually got a call from her ex. "My ex and I hung out (Revive relationship with an ex) all weekend and as it turns out we make much better friends than girlfriends. It was really wonderful to be able to talk, hug, and laugh together. We still love each other, just in a more healthy way now. It has been difficult for us to get to this point, and we have both made mistakes, but we have honestly forgiven each other without holding any resentment. I am having more fun being single than I ever have when I’m in a relationship. I lose all the good parts of myself when I start seriously dating someone. I don’t want that to happen again. There are things I need to change about myself before I will be ready to be with someone again. I know I need to love myself or at least accept myself, before anyone else can really truly love me."

What a great attitude! To have a more "mature" after-breakup relationship with your ex. I don't like those breakups when you "hate" the other person and really feel uncomfortable when you run into each other. I often wonder how people who were (supposedly) in love at one time hate each other so much later.