It is not easy to ask a woman to dump her boyfriend or expect a married woman to get a divorce even though she is clearly interested in a relationship with you. While you may lose an opportunity, you may also end up making a fool of yourself.

Paul has a similar dilemma. He says, "I have this girl here at my college. She is in a long distance relationship. However, she has flirted with me often and even stated that she has feelings for me and has thought of me when she was alone. She even text-messaged me saying she couldn't sleep because she was thinking about me. We get along very well and even sat down and talked and laughed for about four hours because we lost track of time. I like her personality because she is so outgoing and I must admit she isn't bad on the the eyes either. She has stated that she likes my personality as well. She likes her current boyfriend, of course, and I am not the type to make her cheat or breakup. I respect her and her dating choices, but I can tell she feels something for me as well. I don't know if I should make a move and convince her I could be better than the man she is with. I also don't know if I am just a fall-back guy because her boyfriend lives so far away. I just don't know and don't have enough insight on women to make a decision. I like her and she stated she likes me as well. I ask you Should I make a move? And if yes, then should it be straightforward or more passive? I would really appreciate your input."

My question is What did you do/say to her when she said/did all these things. Is it a possibility that you did not reciprocate her declaration of feelings for you? If so, she may be wondering that you do not like her enough yet and that is why the relationship has not gone anywhere.

Please do let her know that you feel about her the way she feels about you. You can do that by either telling her in person or writing it down in a card or by starting to flirt back with her. I would say that at this stage it is best that you do not "make a move" as such but reassure her that the passionate feelings are mutual and you are as much into her as she is into you. At that point she may be able to make up her mind but there is a possibility that she likes the other guy even more and is simply entertaining herself by flirting with you - you just need to be prepared for this reality and the resulting disappointment.

Positive relationship with your ex

It is not just Bruce Willis and Demi Moore who get it right - be able to look into each others eyes and smile even after a divorce or breakup. Others can do it too. It just requires more class.

I have been helping Melissa who broke up with her girlfriend after she complained about her not being warm about the relationship. They broke up and Melissa has decided to change certain things about herself. She wrote her ex a polite letter and thought that was it.

But no. She actually got a call from her ex. "My ex and I hung out (Revive relationship with an ex) all weekend and as it turns out we make much better friends than girlfriends. It was really wonderful to be able to talk, hug, and laugh together. We still love each other, just in a more healthy way now. It has been difficult for us to get to this point, and we have both made mistakes, but we have honestly forgiven each other without holding any resentment. I am having more fun being single than I ever have when I’m in a relationship. I lose all the good parts of myself when I start seriously dating someone. I don’t want that to happen again. There are things I need to change about myself before I will be ready to be with someone again. I know I need to love myself or at least accept myself, before anyone else can really truly love me."

What a great attitude! To have a more "mature" after-breakup relationship with your ex. I don't like those breakups when you "hate" the other person and really feel uncomfortable when you run into each other. I often wonder how people who were (supposedly) in love at one time hate each other so much later.