An older woman, or a cougar, that enjoys dating young dudes writes:

"I am a mature woman and I find that the young men are a lot of fun and boost my spirits. I had a wonderful conversation with a new one last night who said girls talk mainly about shoes and purses and that it was delightful for him to meet someone who he was attracted to and who could converse. For a 25 year old, he had an unusual sense of being true to himself - of being real - which I strive for. I find that, as well as my photos, which guys find sexy, they are often as attracted to my online dating profile - which I have fine tuned to be authentic."

Erin has met someone online and through emails, chat, and webcam, they have been talking for a while now. The relationship has reached a point that her online boyfriend has decided to visit her and she is nervous about their first meeting. "Could you expand a bit more for me about the pitfalls of first meetings? Looks are one thing. I know. I like his looks in the pics I have but, honestly, looks are not that important to me. I have met enough men, who have seen the pics I post online and say they do not do me justice, to be reasonably confident that he will be pleased with what he sees in me, though still will be nervous about that to some extent. I prefer to prepare myself in advance as much as possible for what lies ahead, so I would appreciate anything you could share with me as to what may go wrong - what surprises there may be - in the first meeting?" she asks.

Regarding the challenges of first meeting after a long period of dating online, let me say that, as we spend more time getting to know someone before we actually meet, we are better prepared in many ways. There are, obviously, fewer surprises, but online communication is more structured and one can prepare a lot more. In person, one has to be more spontaneous. That is why we might learn that a patient person isn't really that patient, or always-happy man isn't really such a pleasant person. The same applies to one's looks and other aspects of personality.

I think a lot of time after knowing someone online, we start to assume that we know that person, but in reality it is just what one might know after one or two dates. In other words, start with the hypothesis that it is just your first or second date and there is so much more to find out about each other. So maintain the distance so as not to treat yourself as married to him but also the curiosity to know more, and everything will be just fine. Of course, you want to be aware that he maybe surprised and/or disappointed by things over which you have no control. So there will be some uncomfortable moments, as there are in any dating situation, but in the end you want to be yourself and then just wait to find out if you still feel the same way after meeting.

As you all know, I have been a big fan of online dating and have strongly recommended, that apart from trying at parties and social events, they give a chance to Internet dating as well. Now that does not mean that it will work for everyone.

In that context, it is important to remember that online dating may not work for you because you are looking for something special or are not following the rules of dating on the web or something else is not working for you. You can either give up altogether or try a different strategy. Let me share the experience of one of my readers:

"Having tried the online dating thing for about 6 months, I wasn't impressed by it. It is very impersonal and most guys are on the internet trawling for uncommitted sex rather than a relationship. I wouldn't recommend it. It is a numbers game and for every person who actually marries a match, there are many, many more who don't. It's like playing the lottery. These multimillion dollar companies are making plenty of money off the person's desire for love and the success rate is really low."

Pedro, a Hispanic-American, writes, "I met my girlfriend online, and we have been communicating almost everyday since we met 6 months ago. We love each other dearly and plan to marry eventually, even though we haven't "physically" met yet. We are going to meet in a couple of months (I'm traveling to Brazil). There is only one thing that I'm worried about. I'm 51 and she's 32 -- big age difference, and although she says that the age difference doesn't matter, I am still worried a little bit. Her father is Chinese and I am worried that she will have many problems with her family once she announces that she's in love with an older Mexican-American guy. We plan on her coming to the USA to marry me, but in the mean time, I need to know how to deal with her family -- an Asian family that has been established in Brazil for many years."

Marriage for green card

Not that I suspect that with your girlfriend, but I hope that you realize that many women simply want to marry anyone with an American passport -- the so-called marriage for a green card. It is something that you need to think about and watch out for. If she shows desperation then you need to really make sure that she won't marry you and then leave once she gets her green card.

Marriage through online dating without a real date

While I am a big supporter of online dating, I am always suspicious of people falling in love and planning to get married without ever meeting. Buddy, if you want to listen to my advice, slow down. Yes you can do both but make sure that you are even talking to the same person behind the webcam or email. I have heard enough stories from my readers who found otherwise once they met -- people lie a lot more than acceptable while dating on the Internet. That is why I suggest that people go a little slow in online dating.

How to tell your family about your foreign boyfriend who is also older and of a different race?

Do I understand it right that she has not yet told her parents that she is dating you? You better make sure that she does so right away and if her parents have a huge problem with that and she wants to listen to them, then you better not waste your time and money traveling to Brazil. This is an issue that she needs to handle. You need to strategize with her but she is the one who knows her family better than anyone else. She is the one who has to tell them that you are a wonderful guy, that she is in love with you, and that they should join her in happiness. Of course, you will need to formally ask for her hand in marriage, but I think that you may be trying to do too much in your first visit. I would suggest that you spend this trip on getting to know her better and dealing with issues I have raised here. Come back to the US, think things over, make sure that you are comfortable with everything, and then actually make another trip to ask for her hand in marriage.

Remember that I wish you well and have nothing against you or your girlfriend -- I raised a few questions so that you get an unbiased opinion from someone before you take such an important step.

John Fitzgerald Page is a highly successful man, who also looks great. Unfortunately, humility is not one of the things that he values.

From the fiasco in his case, there are a few important lessons regarding talking to potential dates you meet online (if you are single, please join our completely free dating website):

1. Be polite even if you have not met the other person yet.
2. Be careful what you write; it may come to bite you.
3. Mean people don't find love; they just end up meeting jerks.

If you are having difficulty finding love, there may be nothing wrong with you - in a world where everyone can be choosy, you probably live in a place where there just aren't enough people to choose from. A very clever solution is try to try online dating. Then the world is your potential market, provided you are somewhat open-minded about race, skin color, etc.

By the way, if you are still single, you are welcome to join our completely free dating website.

With Internet dating, you simply create an interesting profile, put photos and video, hang out in the chat rooms, and then respond to people who approach you. If you are a man, I also encourage you to approach men and women that interest you. While you do not have to start your personal website or blog, it is not a bad idea to do so since you will attract even more prospects. That is exactly what Allan Wills did and eventually found a great relationship. Here is a video of his story.

Free online dating

At the request of our readers we started to investigate if we could offer online dating. Believe it or not, once we started to research, we learned that not only was the technology easily available, we could offer it for free. Yes, of course, it will cost us some money in memory (I am assuming that you will store your photos and videos so that you can attract more suitors) and bandwidth (yeah, those videos use lots of it), but I am hoping that this is the least we can do for you. Hopefully, we will lower our loss through advertising.

So please take a look at LuvCube dating website and if you are looking for friends or love, do sign up. And regardless of what you do, do not forget to tell others about it.