Christopher writes, "Whenever I have something on my mind, my sexual appetite goes off completely no matter how I try to forget. What must I do to control this? Also my spouse seems to open up for me only to please me though she has no interest in making love at a particular time and this has become a habit. Therefore, I am losing touch in our sexual excitement. Please help."

Impact of stress on relationships

There is enormous evidence that shows that stress, worry, and insomnia can completely kill sexual desire and even cause impotency or erectile dysfunction. So you need to work on the root cause of your what is on your mind. I am not a stress expert but like anyone else I do have it as well as lots of worries.

Many people have found relief with yoga but I am more of the kind that likes to eliminate the root cause. A previous job that was driving me nuts, well, I quit and now have an awesome job here helping wonderful people like you. So try to identify the problem of your mind not being at peace and try to deal with it. Maybe it means a change of jobs or place or whatever it is. Having a spiritual outlook on life always helps.

Put yourself in your wife's shoes

Regarding your spouse, well, could it be that she too is experiencing anxiety, exhaustion, worry, stress, depression, etc.? Additionally, women's libido reduces with age. At that time many men are at their sexual peak and often experience frustration.

You need to work on your personal issues and try to understand those of your wife to see how you can help her without making her feel as if she is the problem.

I have written previously that smelling your partner's sweat works. No wonder millions of men smell the armpits of their women and underarm odor may be a great aphrodisiac. That is also the idea behind pheromones and other substitutes that raise your libido or make you more attractive to others.

We now have research from University of California at Berkeley that proves that women may also want to smell their man's sweat. According to this study led by Claire Wyart, when women sniffed a chemical found in a man's sweat, they found their mood improved and they experienced "total physiological and sexual arousal." The longer they smelled, the effect went up, but just 15 minutes was enough to trigger it.

So when he comes home after a workout, ladies, don't push him to the bathroom; get close to him instead. You will have a much better night in the bedroom.

Scentuelle patch to improve libido

I have written earlier about how we can use pheromones to influence behavior of others - particularly with the intention to make them like us. Naturally, apart from pheromones, there are other alternatives for women if they suffer from low libido. New research in the emerging science of aromachology has shown that a woman's sense of smell is the gateway to increased desire. The Scentuelle patch consists of a complex combination of scent molecules that stimulate the libido by targeting the brain's smell receptors. It reproduces the effect of the body's 'feel good' hormone, dopamine, which controls desire.

"Smell has been the most enigmatic and least understood of all our senses but its importance to our quality of life is incalculable," explains Dr. George Dodd, a biochemist and the head researcher on the Scentuelle development team. A patch for men, using the same technology, is also available.

Simply place the small, transparent patch in a discreet place, such as the inside of the wrist, and smell it regularly throughout the day. Scentuelle begins to work from the first sniff and its effect is cumulative, building to an optimum level after three weeks. Since the patch is non transdermal, nothing enters the bloodstream so there are no side effects. A doctor's prescription is also not required.

So if you think that your partner has lost interest in you, it is something to try.